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    Messypurse_featured

    Estimated Reading Time: 2 mins
    -+*Recent Vacaville, CA transplant Tommy Empire attempted to search for his car keys in his wife's purse on Saturday with no success.

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    Gene Holman seen with his rope.

    Estimated Reading Time: 2 mins
    -+*Area resident Gene Holman announced late Friday afternoon that he plans on have a serious argument with a fire hydrant.

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    Vladimir Putin and Steve Enos Seen at Purdon Crossing Saturday

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    -+*Secret letter-writing professional Steve Enos was spotted with Russian President Vladimir Putin on Saturday sunbathing at the popular Yuba River swimming hole.

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    Girl Scout Awareness Featured

    Estimated Reading Time: 2 mins
    -+*This year the Girl Scouts of America have expanded their social outreach to include some of the more pressing issues confronting Women across the world.

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    The Nevada County Scooper Presents: Dollar General Grand Opening

    Estimated Reading Time: 1 mins
    -+*The Scooper sent our esteemed photojournalist Sarah Azura Belou to capture the essence of our latest flirtation with out-of-town corporate America.

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    Rundex Family Foundation researcher Robert Colvin reviewing the study at the facility's Palo Alto, CA headquarters.

    Estimated Reading Time: 2 mins
    -+*The Rundex Family Foundation has published a 472 page report which concluded that just about everything Dollar General sells is crap.

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    Giovanni

    Estimated Reading Time: 1 mins
    -+*Nevada County, CA – Local father, Facebook Peeps exile, weather genius and Nyan Cat expert Giovanni Paredes announced early Monday morning that he has filed copyrights and patents for something he is calling “Gioengineering.” “Yeah brah, it’s like so 2015 to patent shit,” said an exuberant Mr. Paredes in an exclusive telephone interview. “It’s time […]

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    dollargeneralBigfootFeatured

    Estimated Reading Time: 2 mins
    -+*A local researcher has warned that Bigfoot might attack the proposed Alta Sierra Dollar General store if it is developed along highway 49.

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    A ISIS terrorist who looks like

    The Scooper has learned that the mynevadacounty.com website was attacked by a group claiming to be working or sympathetic to the terrorist group ISIS.

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    Artist's rendition of the proposed Sierra Buttes project. Yeah, you get what you pay for. No lip.

    Sierra City, CA — Sierra City is about to get on the map, thanks to President Obama. In what may prove a bonanza for local tourism and a boost for racial harmony, President Obama has just signed an executive memorandum calling for the creation of a Mount Rushmore-like creation on the Sierra Buttes celebrating great African […]

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    Nothing says thanks for taking out an enemy better than a metal tool shed.

    The Nevada County Contractors' Association announced Monday night that they plan on erecting a small metal shed in anonymous informant Steve Enos' backyard.

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    HAARP20l

    Sources close to the government have leaked a memo stating that a "relay-like antenna device" might be installed in the important HAARP Banner Mountain location.

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    NathanJohnson

    BriarPatch employee Nathan Johnson enjoys shopping at the local discount grocery store Grocery Outlet. He can find everything he needs at a reasonable price.

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    Oregon To Outlaw Online Facebook Memes

    The State of Oregon has declared a Zero Tolerance policy towards memes and this abusive behavior and will regulate the internet as we see fit.

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    Prepper Drought

    Tomorrow the FBI will release information that names Preppers as the cause of the California drought.

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    FBScooperIcon1024

    Steve Enos had another spoiler up his sleeve when he delivered a sealed letter to the Union revealing the identities of the Nevada County Scooper staff.

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    Joshua Simon, of Simon CRE in Arizona, hosts informational town hall Monday, March 30, at Alta Sierra Country Club before about 125 residents, many of them making angry comments and asking for the Dollar General store to cancel its plans to locate in Alta Sierra.

    Strong emotions erupted this week at a town hall meeting on a new Dollar General store plan in Alta Sierra.

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    Proposed Dollar Fur Store provided by the Roseville, CA-based Developer.

    A group of developers announced a plan to open a discount "dollar" animal pelt store in the vacant Alpha Building at the foot of Broad Street in Nevada City, CA.

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    The faithful outside Nevada City, CA's Cafe Mekka.

    Total pandemonium is currently ensuing in the tiny tourist town as millions of Islamic people have arrived at the Cafe Mekka in Nevada City.

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    Haldol

    The Department of Defense (DoD), in coordination with several local Internet service providers (ISPs), is stepping up their Haldol Chemtrail efforts.

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