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Area Engineer Declares War on Fiction, Reads Only Manuals

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Engineer Fiction Kevin Davis
People who believe this stuff have serious mental issues. People who push this fakery are both deranged and probably criminals.

Area Transplant Not Sure if it’s a General Store or Someone’s Kitchen

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Area Transplant Not Sure if it’s a General Store or Someone’s Kitchen
Recent Vacaville, CA transplant Tommy Empire was not sure if the Iowa Hill, CA general store was actually a grocery store or somebody's kitchen.

Area Woman Who Says “This Butter Chicken is Authentic” Never Been to India

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Indian Oven Grass Valley_featured
Angela White is believes that a local restaurant's butter chicken is as good as in India despite having never visited the largely vegetarian Asian country.

The Top 7 Things Indians Need to Understand About America

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Inmates walk around an exercise yard at the California Institution for Men state prison in Chino, California, June 3, 2011. The Supreme Court has ordered California to release more than 30,000 inmates over the next two years or take other steps to ease overcrowding in its prisons to prevent "needless suffering and death." California's 33 adult prisons were designed to hold about 80,000 inmates and now have about 145,000. The U.S. has more than 2 million people in state and local prisons. It has long had the highest incarceration rate in the world. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson (UNITED STATES - Tags: CRIME LAW POLITICS SOCIETY)
As an native-born and now an Indian living in the United States, I have learned a few things about this peculiar culture. I have decided to share them with my homeland friends and family.

Teenager Informs Family that it is Time to Leave

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KevinThomas_South_Yuba_Bridge
15 year old Kevin Thomas of Grass Valley abruptly informed his family on Wednesday that he "was ready to go home" from their outing at the Yuba River.

Scooper on the Street: Cheap Gas

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Scooper on the Street-Cheap Gas Featured
The Scooper wanted to know what Nevada County residents thought of the recent drop in gasoline prices.

Area Chemtrail Believer Bullied by Math “Thugs“

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Area Chemtrail Believer Bullied by Math “Thugs“
Mary McAlister seemed surprised that others took issue with her incendiary share of a billboard picture that warned people of the dangers of geoengineering.

Local Unplugged Musician Reduced to Silence

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JP Cube a.k.a. Lethal Chrome_featured
Local hip-hop musician "JP Cube a.k.a. Lethal Chrome" has been reduced to 45 minutes of silence after attempting to produce an "unplugged" album.

Local Dickhead Abandons Old Dickhead Ways for a New Dickhead Life with MLM Jesus

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Don Vada of North Bloomfield
Don Vaca has announced that he is giving up his old dickhead ways for a new and reborn dickhead life with Jesus.

Porn Version of “Left Behind” Less Amusing Than Original

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Left Behind FeaturedA pornographic version of the popular 2014 Christian end times film Left Behind ironically is less amusing than the film it sets out to mock.

UFO Caught Sucking Water Out Of California Lake

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UFO over Scotts Flat
A local pilot and amateur photographer has shared an exclusive photo with the Nevada County Scooper depicting a UFO hovering over Scotts Flat Lake.

Local Anarcho-Capitalist Has No Sense of Humor

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David "X" from North San Juan who wants to build a datacenter to house his Bitcoin mining operation.
"And there all all kinds of Anarchists, you see. There's Laissez-faire ones like me, and other ones. Then there's the hippie Anarcho-syndicalists ones. Commune types. Similar, but different than me," ranted Mr. "X."

Area Senior Citizen Circles Roundabout For 5 Minutes

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Mary Shilling vs. The Grass Valley Roundabout
An area woman admitted that she spent five minutes driving around Grass Valley’s Roundabout in her 2008 Buick LaSabre after not being able to exit properly.

Area Woman Injured By Kmart Receipt Pile

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Authorities allowed Millie Franks to keep her receipt pile shown here in her home.
Layaway has a new meaning for long time Grass Valley resident Millie Franks after she was nearly smothered under 27 lbs. of Kmart receipts on Saturday.

Area Man Attempts to Smuggle Butchered Lamb After Vacation

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Pete Johnson in during his 2 day layover in FijiCedar Ridge, CA resident Pete Johnson was briefly detained by TSA officials when they discovered a whole slaughtered New Zealand lamb in his carry-on luggage.

Passive-Aggressive Roofing Aims to Indirectly Intimidate Customers

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Passive Agressive Roofing Featured Ramon
Newly formed Passive-Aggressive Roofing Company hopes to fill that void with a stubbornly hostile, snarky and a resistive attitude towards all customers.

Kid’s All Night Soda Bender Leads to Groin Punching on Camping Trip

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Kid’s All Night Soda Bender Leads to Groin Punching on Camping Trip
A local family learned the hard way that a steady diet of soda pop and potato chips can have a direct impact on the groin health of fellow camp-mates.

Vaccines Replaced By Witchcraft

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Maeve Zephyr Crow and her partner Floura Klia Purae Omallia  demonstrating an anti-vaccine ritual at the Columbia Schoolhouse
Local anti-vaccine activists and Wicca practitioners have teamed up to prevent childhood vaccinations and treat Autism with Witchcraft.

Nevada City Considers Allowing Select Neighborhoods to go Fallow

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Artist's rendition of a fallow Cottage Street in Nevada City, CA
In an effort to attract the valuable Bay Area tourist dollars, the City Council of Nevada City is considering allowing select neighborhoods to go fallow.

Area Woman Treats Autism with Coconut Oil

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Area Woman Treats Autism with Coconut Oil
Merrilee Longshoes is convinced that coconut oil can be used to treat, and perhaps cure Autism.
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