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    Brock Whalen of Bring Back Glenn BeckLocal Tea Party officials announced Monday evening that they will be pushing for local ordinances to raise the voting age to exactly 59 1/2 years of age.

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    Lake WildWood Barbed WireBystanders report seeing convoys of military vehicles transporting miles of concertina wire to Lake Wildwood. Already the locals are upset at this infringement upon their daily drive, Dale Best of North San Juan chimed in as soon as we questioned him.

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    Man in Fair Restroom Enjoying Hand Dryer Too MuchAn unidentified man was spotted enjoying the hand dryer too much in a Nevada County Fair Restroom Saturday afternoon during the annual Italian Home and Meatball competition.

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    magnet3Nevada City, CA — What started out as a playful refrigerator game with the intention of increasing the family’s language acumen, has revealed deep angst and discontent inside a local Nevada City family. “I bought these refrigerator poetry magnets at a yard sale,” said mother of  two Martha Crawford from her Nevada City Home. “At first it was fun. […]

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    Area Drivers Suddenly Respectful to Bicyclists on RoadwaysArea drivers have suddenly and unexpectedly been extremely respectful of bicyclists sharing the roads recently. Many believe this may be because of a new law that requires drivers to steer clear, by at least three feet, around bicyclists riding on the road. The Scooper may have discovered another reason for the respectful trend.

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    Trader_Joe'sIn an unusual press release from the grocery giant, Trader Joe's Director of Marketing James Washburn has told the citizens of Nevada County to "...shut the hell up, already. We heard you. We get it. You want a Trader Joe's."

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    Hemig with horns on Mill St.After the success of pulling the TV Guide from The Union and then up-selling the Sacramento Bee's TV Guide for $1 per issue, publisher Jim Hemming has posed an even bolder plan. He has queried HQ about making the obituaries and police blotter another pay-more special section.

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    wrap left by local Weatherman Giovanni Paredes.Area weather forecasting savant Giovanni Paredes was asked to leave the Grass Valley Staples Office Supply store Wednesday afternoon after a store clerk caught him in a back aisle furiously popping all the bubble wrap.

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    Goatbutt_FeaturedArea woman Jessica Milton admitted to the Nevada County Scooper that she found chopping and collecting wood a challenge while wearing yoga pants. The 26 year old Penn Valley, CA native has been collecting wood her entire life, and this was the first, and apparently last time she is going to wear pants.

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    Dolphin Rainsong-Stanley Drought Car Wash24 year-old Nevada City resident Dolphin Rainsong-Stanley says that California's emergency drought proclamations are actually coming as a sigh of relief to her. She explained that she got crippling bouts of anxiety every time her parents announced that they were coming up for a visit.

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    Starbuck drunk_featuredStarbucks in Grass Valley is applying for a beer and wine license because it feels it will bring a “higher level of sophistication” to their already sophisticated ambiance. Everyone knows that alcohol availability, especially in a location with a drive-thru, lends sophistication.

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    cat_guitar_featuredA Nevada City lighting technician, Steve Goldstern, is extremely disappointed with the layout of an air-guitar event at Avery Theater in Las Vegas, Nevada.

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    Now you can get your Coffee Colonics via drive thru, take out or in the new Starbucks™ colonic-friendly restrooms.Starbucks™ Corporation announced late Friday that it plans to augment its extensive line of coffee, teas and snacks with a new colonic/enema health care option.

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    An Empty Starbucks. Are Chemtrails to blame?An area woman frantically raved all over social media about there being no line at the Grass Valley Starbucks earlier this morning.

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    An Angry Loretta DǒngIn an unprecedented and shockingly candid meeting of one-and-a-half-minds ,Jim Hemming, publisher of The Union newspaper, agreed to be interviewed by the Nevada County Scooper.

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    choruslineThe drive to North San Juan, CA became a little trickier on Sunday when the entire cast from A Chorus Line temporarily blocked all lanes of highway 49 traffic in an impromptu dance.

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    Chorus Line at the Del OroAfter a successful traffic stoppage on Highway 49 Sunday, the collective dancing gang known as "A Chorus Line" successfully interrupted a Monday night showing of Mad Max at Grass Valley's iconic Del Oro Movie Theater.

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    GMO Verizon ServiceFor years Verizon has offered the people of Nevada County a litany of excuses: it's the poor quality towers on Banner Mountain; the Flour Garden's free WiFi interferes with cell phone service; Verizon's regional manager is out to punish his mouthy teenager who works Port of Subs.

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    Nevada City, CA Issues Nation’s First Open Carry Permit, for an AccordionIn an on-going effort to empty the boardwalk of transients and hipsters, Nevada City Police Chief Timothy Foley today issued the first Open Carry Permit—for a musical instrument. Accordion enthusiast Fran Cole, a bottle blonde attorney in knee length lederhosen, was awarded the single permit.

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    choruslineboardofsupesThe entire cast of "A Chorus Line" briefly invaded the Board of Supervisors chamber to perform an a heart-wrenching version of their popular "What I Did for Love" to a mostly indifferent, and some would say annoyed district leaders.

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