North San Juan, CA — Harrison Longacre, retired funeral director and lifelong space enthusiast, has come out of retirement to announce a contract to build cremation urns that will be “scattered like tennis balls” on the face of the moon. Longacre is CEO, president and chief engineer of Space Balls Inc. He declined to state […]
North San Juan, CA — Harrison Longacre, retired funeral director and lifelong space enthusiast, has come out of retirement to announce a contract to build cremation urns that will be “scattered like tennis balls” on the face of the moon. Longacre is CEO, president and chief engineer of Space Balls Inc. He declined to state […]
At last, in Part Five of his report , Delaney Faris has come to his senses, which is not saying much. And there's a good reason for that. We have dispatched ace reporter Michael Tesh to interview him to determine if he really is Delaney Faris and just how crazy he is.
After meeting with her surgeon at Sutter Roseville Medical Center in Roseville, CA, 38 year old Nevada City resident Melinda Harborshauer insisted that she be allowed to use medical marijuana for both anesthesia and post operation pain management.
Devastated by the theft of a “larger than life-sized cutout of Hillary Clinton” from the Nevada County Fair, the Nevada County Democratic Central Committee is trying a new tactic to recover their candidate’s avatar.
SPD Grocery Store checkout clerk Megan Albright will not be terminated for "taste testing" customer Cantaloupes.
In an attempt to stay relevant, an unidentified member of the Kardashian family invaded the room of a dying patient dressed as a demon at Sierra Nevada Memorial Hospital earlier this week. In an exclusive and somewhat terrifying photo obtained by the Nevada County Scooper, one can see what appears to be a demonic figure jumping onto the bed of a dying patient.
Local animal rights advocates announced they are proceeding with a program to "give the animals a fighting chance" by arming them with semi-automatic rifles.
Local food activists announced that an inaugural Nevada City “Farm to Dumpster” gala successfully wasted more than two tons of fresh, locally-produced fruit, vegetables, meat, wine and beer.
24 year-old Nevada City resident Dolphin Rainsong-Stanley says that California's emergency drought proclamations are actually coming as a sigh of relief to her. She explained that she got crippling bouts of anxiety every time her parents announced that they were coming up for a visit.
Warren Grant of Nevada City became agitated on Wednesday when his daughter's Christmas Gift, a "retro" Kenner Easy Bake Oven, failed to cook the small-batch cake mix.
A local Family Play park is working hard to insure that children have the proper skills to compete in the ever-expanding and competitive gambling marketplace.
The Chemtrail Action Network (CAN) announced the first ever traveling Chemtrail Film Festival coming to Nevada City, CA this December. The film festival, the first of its kind, will be making its first stop in the secluded Sierra Nevada Foothills town for a 2 day run starting on the 11th of December and running until late Saturday December 12th.
Rundex Family Foundation has published a report which finds the majority of American pets eat better and have better healthcare than over 2 billion of Earth's inhabitants.
The only objects of value stolen were a half-full ice cube tray and a purloined Mason jar containing 35 years' worth of Greasebone's late husband's belly button lint. Greasebone is offering a $1,000 reward and "my undying gratitude" to anyone who returns the jar of belly button lint. No questions asked.
Area author Roy Riffle is worried that he will not be able to grow a beard long enough to satisfy the requirements of the inevitable arrival of Sharia Law.
Willow" Sunblaze of Nevada City, CA was arrested at GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump's Mobile, Alabama rally. He has since been released after posting his $40,000 bond in cash.
The United States Postal Service (USPS) has reacted to pressure from more Conservative American organizations to commemorate "True Americans."
The DoD is expanding its current PZ-11X1 and PS-09B3 chemtrail distribution programs by adding aerosolized fluoride into its disbursement systems.
North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd that two of his three Geiger counters were registering abnormally high levels of radiation.
Total pandemonium is currently ensuing in the tiny tourist town as millions of Islamic people have arrived at the Cafe Mekka in Nevada City.
