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School Shooter Perfect Example of “Well-Regulated Militia, Says Local Gun Activist

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Jason Dant Gun CollectionArea gun collector, current Donald Trump supporter and 2nd Amendment activist Jason Dant quipped on his Facebook that recent school "shooters" are the best example of a 'well-regulated militia mentioned in the Constitution.

Area Man in Large Dodge Truck Feels No Need to Yield

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ctd-ram-rolls-on-prius-600Mr. Dickens, who drives a illegally modified Dodge RAM 3500 truck, narrowly missed crushing a Toyota Prius which was exiting the roundabout yesterday afternoon.

Area Man Attempts to Smuggle Butchered Lamb After Vacation

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Pete Johnson in during his 2 day layover in FijiCedar Ridge, CA resident Pete Johnson was briefly detained by TSA officials when they discovered a whole slaughtered New Zealand lamb in his carry-on luggage.

Man Driving Used Police Car: Why Do People Treat Me Weird?

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Man Driving Used Police Car Doesn’t Understand Why People Treat Him WeirdPeople have been driving strangely around Hank Snow after the Grass Valley handyman purchased a surplus Crowne Victoria Police car.

Harvest News: “Farmers” Demand School Closures Due to Rain

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Help-Harvest-MoonashDue to a somewhat unseasonal rainstorm, some Nevada County "farmers" are demanding that local schools close to give area families extra labor for an emergency harvest.

Local Farmer Chortles at “Girl Scout Cookie” Creamer

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Thomas Kevlin of North San Juan find Girl Scout Cookie Creamer funny.Local Ridge farmer Thomas Kevlin giggled Friday at local the Grass Valley Grocery Outlet after discovering a Coffee-Mate Creamer called "Girl Scout Cookie."

Area Woman Thoughtfully Fondles Eggs

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Janet Williams of Cedar RidgeThe Scooper caught up with Ms. Williams at the egg stand on her weekly shopping trip for groceries. She was thoughtfully fondling the eggs.

Windows Up: Teenager “Revenge Farts” in Car Wash

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KevinThomasFartCarWashFeaturedAn argument broke out in a Grass Valley late Sunday when 15 year old Kevin Thomas thought it would be funny to fart just prior to entering a local car wash.

Local Newspaper Infiltrated by CIA “Psy-Ops”

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An earlier and failed attempt by the Union newspaper at Psy-OpsAfter an exhaustive 3 month investigation, The Nevada County Scooper with the help of several anonymous, yet credible informants has learned that The Union, Grass Valley's 150 year old newspaper has been infiltrated by a CIA "Psy-Ops" detachment.

Area Man Proclaims Autonomous State Inside Carl’s Jr.

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Nevada City resident Charles Jones announced his intention on Thursday to create Permanent Autonomous Zone called "La Burgia" in the back corner of the Grass Valley, CA Carl's Jr. restaurant.Nevada City resident Charles Jones announced his intention to create Permanent Autonomous Zone called "La Burgia" in the back corner of the Grass Valley, CA Carl's Jr. restaurant.

Seniors Debate Reporter’s Ethnicity For the Third Night

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Reynaldo M. Rodriguez and Stephen DonallyFor the third straight night, are seniors at debated the ethnicity of a KCRA TV News Reporter during the evening broadcast in their community center.

Nevada City Technology Worker Pretends to Read James Joyce’s Ulysses

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startup business people group at officeCustomer Support Specialist Brent Underwood pretended to read Ulysses during his lunch break at a local technology firm on Wednesday. He's about half way through the book, although he hasn't read a single page.

Area Man Knows “Good Satire When He Sees It”

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Jake Zillevich of Grass Valley is concerned about the government controlling every part of his life.Jake Zillevich of Grass Valley is concerned about gullible people on Social Media and has made it his mission to point out the satire as often as possible.

Federal Gun Confiscation Unit Arrives in Penn Valley, CA

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Federal Gun Confiscation Unit Arrives in Penn Valley, CAThe 290 million dollar program, nicked named "ObamaGun," was authorized by an largely ignored Presidential executive action from 2009. The action enables a fleet of Astro Vans across the country to engage in "a courteous confiscation of all firearms" with the purpose of "securing the safety of potential gun violence victims."

Area Bounce House Owner Stickler About Security

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TSA Bounce HouseMr. Dodge has hired an off-duty TSA officers to inspect, guard and where necessary, confiscate any items that a terrorist might use to harm the joy of one of his bounce houses.

Area Man Only Eats at Jamba Juice For One Month/Now Has Type 2 Diabetes

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Jason Dubrey Jamba JuiceArea man Jason Dubrey is now recovering from a month-long diet of Jamba Juice. Dubrey, 34, has been watching several online videos about weight loss and juice diets and decided last month to try a "30 day Juice fast."

Area Parking Meter Reader Says Job Fulfilling and Rewarding

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Parking Meter Attendant Richard CraneumIf you live in or visit Nevada City chances are you will see Richard Craneum patrolling the streets of the downtown historical district. Craneum has been the city's sole parking meter reader for the last 8 years.

County to Implement Temporary Wine Child Drop-Off Shelter

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County to Implement Temporary Wine Child Drop-Off ShelterIn an effort to give some relief and a few minutes of god-damned peace and quiet to local mothers, the county announced plans for Bring Your Ornery Baby ( BYOB), a temporary shelter for unwanted infants and small children that will be wanted again as soon as frustrated moms can have a drink, relax, and finally hear themselves think for once.

Trader Joe’s to Nevada County: Please Shut Up

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Trader_Joe'sIn an unusual press release from the grocery giant, Trader Joe's Director of Marketing James Washburn has told the citizens of Nevada County to "...shut the hell up, already. We heard you. We get it. You want a Trader Joe's."

Area Parents Apologize in Advance for Son’s Mass Murder

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Dant Parent Home FeaturedMaureen and Jimmy are the parents of Jason Dant, a notorious gun “collector” who recently left his Horton Street home and is currently living in a fortified bunker with no address somewhere in Penn Valley.
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