The Department of Defense (DoD), in coordination with several local Internet service providers (ISPs), is stepping up their Haldol Chemtrail efforts.
Dept. of Defense Stepping Up Local Haldol Chemtrail Efforts
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Local Rooster Inspired by Bruce Jenner: Seeks Cow Reassignment
Neighbors surrounding the Ridge Feed and Supply store on Ridge Road learned that the iconic Mascot Chicken is seeking a "Species Re-Assignment" surgery after learning about the trials and tribulations of Bruce Jenner.
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Three Forks Bakery and Brewery Down to One Fork
According to insiders close to the popular Nevada City restaurant and brewery, the Three Forks Bakery & Brewery Company, might be down to just one fork.
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Donner Party Family Buffet to Open in Truckee, CA
Local entrepreneur Robert Mincy is looking to cash in on Truckee's booming economy by opening a family-style buffet on the Eastern shore of Donner Lake.
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Is This Man Dangerous?
Apparently spooked by recent news stories about him, his 27 guns, and his undefined fear of “tyranny,” Dant has holed up in a bunker somewhere in Penn Valley. The only way we were able to contact him was to leave a message on his voicemail.
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Area Minivan Missing Hubcap Seen Driving Erratically
Grass Valley mother of 4 and 1994 Chrysler Town and Country Minivan owner Mindy Alters was witnessed driving somewhat erratically Sunday afternoon on Brunswick Road. She was seen recklessly entering traffic from the Safeway parking lot, nearly striking a 2011 Toyota Prius.
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Local Facebook Group To Post Only Admin Updates
After much consideration, the popular Facebook Group Nevada County Peeps announced this week to eliminate all discussions and replace it with admin post updates only. The move is seen as an important step in clamping down on "Internet trolls."
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Area “Sheepbull” Sadly Put Down
After making a go of it in the real world, the world's only "Sheep-bull" was sadly put down after aggressively attacking a local gardener's tomato plants. This is the third such incident in the past three months that involved the hybrid animal affectionately called "Tegan" by it's owners.
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Pet Cougar Makes Cedar Ridge Neighbors Nervous
Residents of the usually quiet and worry free neighbor of Somerset Drive have something to occupy their minds. Their Neighbors have just acquired a pet cougar.
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Nevada County Chosen for New Economic Program: Cannabarter
After an exhaustive review of State, Federal, and County laws regarding the cultivation, use, and sales of cannabis, it was determined that using 420 as a barter medium did not violate any law or ordinance.
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County Supervisors Approve Microbrewery and Fellatio Bar
In a private and unannounced session, the Nevada County Board of Supervisors voted to allow multinational adult lifestyles company Risqué Business, inc. to open a microbrewery and "fellatio" bar within Nevada County.
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Area Entrepreneur Erases God With Microwave Brain Machine
A Grass Valley inventor has invented a brain scan machine that will replace what he calls "arcane belief systems" with "modern, humanist principles." Brian K. Hart has been working on what he calls his Cognitive Replacement System or CRS for over a decade.
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APSAK: Don’t Let Your Child Be Gun Ignorant
If you think your toddler is too immature to properly handle a loaded firearm safely, think again.
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Area Gated Community Forms Own Assisted Suicide Team
Just two days after governor Brown signed “Right To Die” legislation, the board of directors of the Lake of the Pines gated community in southern Nevada County authorized and implemented their own assisted suicide team.
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Demon Captured at Local Hospital Actually a Kardashian
In an attempt to stay relevant, an unidentified member of the Kardashian family invaded the room of a dying patient dressed as a demon at Sierra Nevada Memorial Hospital earlier this week. In an exclusive and somewhat terrifying photo obtained by the Nevada County Scooper, one can see what appears to be a demonic figure jumping onto the bed of a dying patient.
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KVMR DJ Falls Asleep During Radio Broadcast
A KVMR broadcaster accidentally fell asleep during her overnight Native American flute show American Timbres which broadcasts from 2am to 5am. Around 3:30am listeners reported that the popular local radio station "went dead" and all they could hear was the soft, yet distinct sound of gentle snoring.
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R.L. Crabb Status Page
R.L. Crabb, the Scooper's patron saint and local cartoon legend's current status.
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Area Man to Write Steinbeckian “Trimmigrant” Account of Nevada County
Nevada City burgeoning writer Roy Riffle recently announced to a small crowd of Millennials at Cafe Mekka that he intended to write the town’s equivalent John Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath called Buds of Wrath. Mr. Riffle has been talking with "trimmigrants" as they made their way through town looking for temporary work.
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Nevada City to Host Nation’s First “Halloweed” Parade October 31st
Civic leaders and community organizers in the nation's self-proclaimed marijuana capital, announced this past week that the iconic former Gold Rush town nestled in the Sierra Nevada Foothills will host a "Halloweed Parade" on Saturday, October 31st.
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Stephen King Spotted at Local Grocery Outlet
American author of contemporary horror, supernatural fiction, suspense, science fiction, and fantasy Stephen King was spotted this weekend shopping at the popular discount supermarket Grocery Outlet.
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