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    Confederate Flags in Penn ValleyA group of Penn Valley, CA activists have banded together and unofficially declared the Confederate Battle Flag to be its unofficial city flag. They've formed an action group called the Penn Valley Citizens Against Speech Oppression or PVCASO (pronounced "puv cay-so"), which aims to restore the values of traditional, Christian America to America.

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    Artist's depiction of Secret Scientology underground bunker in Graniteville, CAThe Church of Scientology has announced plans to build a store vault and "Cadet Org" in the small unincorporated community of Graniteville, California.

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    The Obama Administration has selected Stone Mountain Georgia to resettle thousands of Syrian refugees.Humanitarian workers will resettle the first wave of Syrian refugees in Stone Mountain as the Obama Administration struggle to bring at least 10,000 Syrian refugees to the U.S. by the end of September.

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    The resident of Nevada City overwhelmingly approved an ordinance allowing neighboring city Grass Valley to open a marijuana dispensary.At yesterday's City Council meeting, the Nevada City leadership voted unanimously allowing neighboring Grass Valley to permit the county's first medical marijuana dispensary as soon as February 2017.

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    Mythel AdamsfeaturedAfter repeated attempts to send her daughter and granddaughter a "selfie," Mythel Adams of Grass Valley finally managed to send a somewhat coherant message using her new iPhone 6 that her daughter purchased for her.

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    Teenager Kevin Thomas has eaten nothing but Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and a bag of cough drops.Grass Valley, CA — Grass Valley, CA Father Craig Thomas is beside himself. For the past 2 years, his 15-year-old son Kevin has refused to eat anything but Kraft™ Macaroni and Cheese. “We’ve tried everything. And I mean everything. You’re not gonna suggest anything are you?” asked Mr. Thomas of this Scooper correspondent. “Anyhow, we’ve tried everything. We’ve […]

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    HAARP20lSources close to the government have leaked a memo stating that a "relay-like antenna device" might be installed in the important HAARP Banner Mountain location.

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    Poop PrescriptionDr. Scheiss explained C.diff. is a devastating, sometimes fatal bacterial infection of our guts that causes explosive diarrhea, belly pain, bloating, fever, uncontrollable barfing – and catastrophic weight loss. (No, this is not a diet. It's a life-threatening disease.)

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    The proposed flag for the Great Republic of Penn Valley.For the 14th consecutive year, the ardent conservative enclave of Penn Valley, CA has decided not to pursue secession from the United States.

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    Messypurse_featuredRecent Vacaville, CA transplant Tommy Empire attempted to search for his car keys in his wife's purse on Saturday with no success.

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    Fight Averted at Safeway Self-CheckoutAccording to witnesses, the fight started between woman in her late 30s and a mid-20 year old female. Apparently there was some confusion about how to queue for the stores 2 sets of self-checkout registers.

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    Mary Shilling of Penn ValleyPenn Valley, CA — Mary Shilling of Penn Valley has noticed grammatical errors in several Nevada County on-line and print  publications. And she is not happy about it. “Hey, I just can’t read an article with spelling and usage errors,” said Mary Shilling of Penn Valley. “Professionals should know how to write well. Like our Founders […]

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    Disneyland and Monsanto are teaming up for free vaccinations for most park visitorsAnaheim, CA — The happiest place on Earth is about to get vaccinated. Following recent reports of multiple Measles outbreaks at Disneyland, officials at the resort decided to offer free vaccinations to restore customer confidence in the world-famous entertainment park. According to health officials, the popular park has struggled with a measles outbreak which originated […]

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    Twin Cities MosqueA new "mega mosque" is slated to open next to Twin Cities Church sometime next year, according to developers working on the project.

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    Ronald McDonald seen here at the Illinois Department of Employment Security.McDonald's has issued a statement confirming the reason for scrubbing Ronald McDonald from their website and his merchandise from their online store – the longtime franchise mascot is no longer under contract with the company.

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    Kevin Thomas with broken cell phone3 days after receiving his new Samsung Galaxy mobile phone, complete with an Otterbox case, 15 year old Kevin Thomas of Grass Valley, CA somehow managed to crush the touchscreen into oblivion.

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    Nevada City Guinea Pig Sugar Peaches isn't concerned about the pending nuclear holocaust brought on by a Hillary Clinton Presidency. An area guinea pig continued today to chew its timothy hay thoughtfully unaware of the collapse of the great American experience.

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    Soul Kitchen Closes, Saying Penn Valley Not a Good FitPenn Valley's Angel's Soul Kitchen restaurant is apparently dead on arrival. The newly-opened 'Soul Kitchen' felt obliged to shut its doors after only 24 minutes of operation. There may be hope, however.

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    Apache Helicopter Firing Rockets at real helicopter parents.Helicopter gunships from Beale Air Base were dispatched to quell an insurgent uprising of helicopter parents.

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    startup business people group at officeCustomer Support Specialist Brent Underwood pretended to read Ulysses during his lunch break at a local technology firm on Wednesday. He's about half way through the book, although he hasn't read a single page.

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