You Like? Please Share.Grass Valley, CA — Russ Feingold of Grass Valley is worried about the state of his marriage after starting a new all-juice diet. His wife of 18 years, Beth Feingold, saw a documentary on Netflix and decided to put Russ and herself on a “Juice Fast Challenge” for 7 days. “I don’t […]
Juice Diet Threatens Marriage
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Local Entrepreneur Thwarted by DSL
You Like? Please Share.Grass Valley, CA – Nevada County Home Business “Shake It Well” came to a screeching halt on Sunday night when Bob and Danni Schlozmeyer’s DSL went down. “This happens a lot,” said a frustrated Danni Schlozmeyer, “usually at the time we need it the most. I go over to the modem, and the […]
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Salman Rushdie Concerned About Local Newspaper
You Like? Please Share.Grass Valley, CA – Given the recent attack on the French Magazine Charlie Hebdo by Islamic militants which killed 12 people, famous and formerly in hiding author Salman Rushie expressed concern for the safety of Grass Valley’s 150 year old, satirical newspaper The Union. “What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom […]
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Holy Satire Wars Breakout Across the Internet
You Like? Please Share.Nevada County, CA – As we slip into this new year the world has taken a sudden and dark turn into a not so unexpected trend, the religious fueled holy wars directed towards satire and parody. The final days of 2014 showed the incoming tide of “anti-satiraclism” with the strategic collapse of […]
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Petition To Rename Town “Nevada Fucking City” Approved
You Like? Please Share.Nevada City, CA – A petition to change Nevada City’s name to “Nevada Fucking City” has garnered enough signatures from residents to put the question to voters in the next election. Heather Donna Hue, on behalf of the Hella Nevada County group on the Facebook web site and The Nevada County Scooper […]
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New Auburn Costco Announces Shuttle Schedule
You Like? Please Share.Auburn, CA – Costco Wholesale Corporation announced a new Nevada County “Shop Shuttle” service schedule Thursday that will provide an easy way for locals to shop at the new North Auburn, CA mega-warehouse store. “This is an innovative experiment by Costco,” said SVP of Operations Jeramie Blazenwad. “The idea is to make […]
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Department of Defense Experimenting with Fluoride Chemtrails
You Like? Please Share.Nevada County, CA – In an effort to improve oral health, the United States Department of Defense (DoD) is considering expanding its current and unsuccessful PZ-11X1 and PS-09B3 programs [climate modification via sulfur dioxide], PA-10A7 [Haldol] chemtrail distribution programs by adding aerosolized fluoride into its disbursement systems. “We noticed that the local water […]
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“Welcome to Penn Valley” Flyers Aim to Keep Visitors In Line
You Like? Please Share.Penn Valley, CA – Penn Valley citizens, business owners and community activists have come together to create a “Know How to Act Good in Penn Valley” flyer designed to educate visitors about the small, quaint township. “The whole point of this,” said chief organizer Mary Shilling of Penn Valley, “is to let people coming […]
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This New Plastic Bag Ban is Making You Crazy
You Like? Please Share.Nevada County, California – The plastic bag wars have begun. As Jefferson Davis once wrote: “If the Plastic Bag Ban falls, there should be written on its tombstone: Died of a Theory.” “We totally agree with that sentiment,” exclaimed long-lost sister of one of our most famous local families, Janeta Painter. She […]
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New Girl Scout Cookies to Raise Social Awareness
You Like? Please Share.Nevada County, CA – It’s that time again, time for Girl Scout Cookie sales. Just when you thought you were safely on your New Years diet, you starting getting the phone calls from your local Girl Scout troop asking for your box count. Admit it, you can hardly wait. This year the […]
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Scooper Follow Up: Rick Guzman, Shy Hardware Guy
You Like? Please Share.Grass Valley, CA – The Scooper is following up with last week’s article on Mr. Rick Guzman at a local hardware store. When we last spoke with him, he was discussing the many techniques he uses to avoid eye contact with the store customers. We received a call from Mr. Guzman on […]
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Truckee Forest Hospital’s Ethical Woes Encourages Area Spouses
You Like? Please Share.Truckee, CA – Truckee area spouses of all genders are encouraged by recent ethical issues plaguing 60-year-old+, rural Tahoe Forest Hospital. “I think this is fantastic news,” said Truckee stay-at-home father of 3 Dade Williams. “I’m hoping to get an inside contract with the Hospital too. My wife is a nurse there, so I […]
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Camptonville Man Grows Giant Hairy Cock
You Like? Please Share.Camptonville, CA – Walter Truman is primarily an egg farmer in Camptonville, but in an attempt to make a better layer he also breeds chickens. “None of this GMO stuff,” he explained as he knocked some chicken shit off his boots. “I breed hens the old fashioned way, picking the largest of […]
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Nevada County Bag Ban Redux
You Like? Please Share.Grass Valley, California – Oh for Christ’s sake, how much more stupid can this get? Today we attended grocery services at the hallowed Grass Valley downtown Safeway, and one of the main reasons was to Receive Unto Him a Bag of Great Value, of Plastic or Paper, but for sure it was […]
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The Nevada County Scooper Celebrates the Wild and Scenic Film Festival
You Like? Please Share. The Nevada County Scooper Celebrates the Wild and Scenic Film Festival, presented by photojournalist Sarah Azura Belou. Delve into the world of population control, smart-meter radiation and Chemtrails. Learn about bicycle-powered music and the importance of indoctrinating, we mean, “teaching” your children about Monsanto, guitar playing and the evils of Friar […]
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Local Weatherman to Copyright GioEngineering
You Like? Please Share.Nevada County, CA – Local father, Facebook Peeps exile, weather genius and Nyan Cat expert Giovanni Paredes announced early Monday morning that he has filed copyrights and patents for something he is calling “Gioengineering.” “Yeah brah, it’s like so 2015 to patent shit,” said an exuberant Mr. Paredes in an exclusive telephone […]
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The Lou LaPlante Story: Every town has its secrets
You Like? Please Share. The Lou LaPlante Story, produced by Buck Butaan. Every town has its secrets. Autodidact Louis “Lou” LaPlante was born on the bayou after the war, his father killed in action in the Defeat of the Third Coalition. Lou loves to paint, and his Belgian wife Mariette is also a painter and […]
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Rival Deer Found in Grass Valley Front Yard
You Like? Please Share.Grass Valley, CA – This morning a local reader of The Nevada County Scooper spotted a group of deer congregating in the front yard of the Swan Levine House, a Grass Valley Bed and Breakfast Inn. According to the Grass Valley Police Department, some of the deer appear to be from rival […]
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Area Family Implements New Facebook Platform in Home
You Like? Please Share.Nevada City, CA – In an unprecedented move a local Nevada City family has voted to integrate an oddly 21st century set of house rules. Last month at the weekly household meeting of the Grant family the entire house unanimously voted to implement the Facebook usage rules as the model for their […]
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Scooper Review: Orgone Chem-Scrubber
You Like? Please Share. Rating: 12 of 10 Stars — The recent surge in awareness of the growing danger in our skies of Geoengineering, aka Chemtrails, has prompted a serious health concern amongst the educated class here in California. Unsure of the deleterious health issues it is no doubt causing to the general populace as […]
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