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ISIS Targets Area Man’s 1989 Buick LaSabre

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An area conservative blogger is growing increasingly concerned about a possible plot by ISIS terrorists to attack his 1989 Buick LeSabre. Retired Colonel Jack Ripper as been spending the past two years planning for what he calls "a massive 'moooslem' attack on his Idaho Maryland Road home.

Nevada City Becomes Nation’s First Crowdfunded-Operated Town

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Nevada City, CA hopes to use several "crowdsourcing" platforms to generate operating income for the fiscally strapped city. Nevada City says that it plans to repeal and replace traditional revenue sources like taxes and fines, and use crowdsourcing systems to pay for the operations of the town.

Area Wife Forces Husband To Live In New Boat He Purchased

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Cedar Ridge Resident seen here in his boat the Tommy C docked in the Sacramento Delta.Frequent traveler, exotic animal collector and Cedar Ridge, CA resident Pete Johnson found himself in trouble over the weekend after he purchased a new fishing boat without telling his wife who unceremoniously kicked him out of the house. Mr. Johnson is currently living in his new boat which is docked 60 miles away in the Sacramento Delta.

Area Man Who Says “Wine Good for the Heart” on His 4th Cocktail

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Sal Smith of Alta SierraLocal retiree Sal Smith announced to his visiting family over the holidays that "a glass of red wine is good for your heart," as he consumed his 4th cocktail of the evening.

Local Roaster to Sell Poop-Processed Celebrity Coffee

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Long-time Nevada City resident, entrepreneur and coffee aficionado Sarah Benfer is opening the Nation's first "human processed" coffee roastery.Long-time Nevada City resident, entrepreneur and coffee aficionado Sarah Benfer is opening the Nation's first "human processed" coffee roaster featuring celebrities.

CA Officials Worried About Glory Hole Spillway

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Napa, CA- Lake Berryessa has finally reached a point where it is overflowing into the Berryessa glory hole, a drain that opens to a spillway that bypasses the Monticello Dam. Local and state officials are growing concerned after watching the tragedy currently unfolding at the Lake Oroville dam, where erosion has created a possible spillway […]

Passive-Aggressive Alta Sierra Man Installs Privacy Fence

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Jim Woods of Alta SierraNew area transplant Jim Woods recently moved into a foreclosed "flipped" house in the decidedly middle class development of Alta Sierra located about 10 miles south of downtown Grass Valley. He also has the only privacy fence in the greater Alta Sierra area.

Area Man Announces Fight with Fire Hydrant

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Gene Holman seen with his rope.Area resident Gene Holman announced late Friday afternoon that he plans on have a serious argument with a fire hydrant.

Nevada City Man Claims He’s Rightful King of England

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Nevada City's Michael Fair Davies claims he's the rightful King of England.A Nevada City, CA man has taken out a full-page advertisement in the New York Times claiming he is the rightful King of England and that he will ascend to the thrown after the death of the current sovereign Queen Elizabeth II.

Clearwater, FL Chosen for Immediate Syrian Refugee Relocation

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The Obama Administration is bringing 10,000 Syrian refugees to Clearwater, Florida.Humanitarian workers will resettle the next wave of Syrian refugees in Clearwater, Florida, as a holdover executive order from the Obama Administration struggles to bring at least 10,000 Syrian refugees to the U.S. by the end of September 2017.

‘Over Stayed’ Shape-shifting Alien Fears Trump Deportation

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Zahhak Sobek, or better known by Grass Valley locals by give Earthly-given name of Gregg Koehler of Grass Valley, isn't interested in returning to his home planet.Zahhak Sobek, or better known by Grass Valley locals by give Earthly-given name of Gregg Koehler of Grass Valley, isn't interested in returning to his home planet.

Donald Trump Vows to Make Hazzard County Great Again

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Donald J. Trump grew up idolizing Hogg for all his achievements in the business world. After a recent campaign stop in Atlanta, Mr. Trump took a detour to visit his old friend in Hazzard County.

CIA Agent Can’t Unsee What She’s Seen on Your Samsung Smart TV

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CIA operational agent Karen Bergman is regretting Samsung Smart Television spying assignment.Fairfax, VA —  CIA operational agent Karen Bergman is regretting her recent assignment to spy on owners of Samsung Smart Televisions. The 13 year veteran of the nation’s chief spy agency says she’s seen things that can’t be unseen across America’s family and bedrooms. “I took the job about 3 years ago as a part […]

Nevada County Crime Wave: Bizarro Edition March 2017

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The Nevada County Scooper presents: the Nevada County Crime Wave, Bizarro Edition March 2017. So crazy, that you will believe it.

Government Worker Disappointed He’s not a 1%-er Yet

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James Dugan believes he is worth his $220,000 compensation package.Upon realizing that his $220,000 plus compensation package falls shy of enlisting him in the ranks of the famed "1%-ers," a Sacramento government director is disappointed that he did not meet the elite $350,000 threshold for his demographic.

Local Researcher: Ann Arbor, Michigan Doesn’t Exist

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North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Ann Arbor, Michigan is an elaborate hoax and does not exist.

Camptonville Man Grows Giant Hairy Cock

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Walter Truman is primarily an egg farmer in Camptonville, but in an attempt to make a better layer he also breeds chickens.

Area Feminist Petitions to Have Broad Street Renamed

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This is what Broad Street would look like renamed to Nisenan Blvd.Area community activist and former Sacramento State University feminist Sairhra Ramun of Nevada City has petitioned the city council to formally change the name of Broad Street to Nisenan Blvd. The move, which has been expected by acquaintances close to the activist, was inspired by recent unrest at several college campuses across the country.

Area Naturopathic Doctor Wonders Why He Hasn’t Been Murdered Yet

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Naturopath "Doctor" Jerod Whitehorn Hoserben assumes he is going to be murdered at any moment. A local naturopathic doctor is perplexed as to why he has not been the target of the global 'Big Pharma' conspiracy to murder alternative health professionals.

Wayne Brown Correctional Facility Voted Best Winter Resort by Via Magazine

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AAA's Via Magazine has selected Nevada County's Wayne Brown Correctional Facility as a top vacation pick.In what began as a unintentional delivery of 3000 copies of Via Magazine to Wayne Brown Correctional Facility has turned into a big win for their public image.
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