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Area Musician Draws Inspiration from Chemtrails

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Area musician David Robock draws deep inspiration from chemtrails.Area musician David Robock used to cite an eclectic mix of influences while he was still cutting his teeth on the local club circuit. Bands like Megadeth, Smashing Pumpkins, and solo artists like Prince and Merle Haggard were a constant source of inspiration.

KVMR to Run 24 Hours of Lawrence Welk

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KVMR announced late last week that they will be hosting the county's first 24 hour Lawrence Welk marathon. The move, which according to insiders was driven by elderly activism who wished to "also have a voice," is seen as a disingenuous attempt to combat and mute much of what area aging activists feel is a "anti-conservative/pro-liberal" agenda at the radio station.

Government Proposes Drones for Chemtrail Operations

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"BIG Boy” PD97-3034 Chemtrail Drone. Source: US Military.In a surprise executive order, the Trump Administration announced plans to license and deploy aerial drones to conduct Chemtrail spraying operations.

Nevada City Decriminalizes Public Nudity

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Nevada City becomes the nation's first municipality to decriminalize nudity.After years of government lobbying by activist groups, Nevada City announced this week that it will become the nation's first to not only decriminalize all forms of public nudity, but will take active steps to encourage it.

ISIS Launches Attack from Local Theater Roof Destroying a Car

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ISIS Terrorists on the Del Oro Theater. Source: InstagramA rocket-propelled grenade was fired from the roof of the Del Oro Theater striking a late model Toyota late Saturday afternoon in Grass Valley, CA. The attack, which ISIS took responsibility for, was targeted the first white car to emerge from the Safeway parking lot on Neal Street.

Enlightened Self-Interest Fails to Fill Area Pothole

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Despite an earnest sense of voluntarism, an area pothole hasn't been fixed.A large Grass Valley pothole has gone unrepaired despite the claims of some neighbors that "enlightened self interest" would fix it

Chris Christie Under Fire for Closing Yuba River Day Use Area

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New Jersey Governor Chris Christie seen here "hogging" the entire Oregon Creek State Park beach on the Middle Fork of the Yuba River.Fresh on the heels of a New Jersey Beach closure scandal that has lowered the already unpopular Governor's favorability rating, Christie Christie is back in the negative spotlight again after he closed an entire South Yuba River State Park this weekend.

Area Activists Furious Over Annual Patriotic “Ditch Dye” Event

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Area activists are furious with the Nevada Irrigation District's decision to go ahead with its annual "Ditch Dye" event.Area environmental activists are furious over the Nevada Irrigation District's (NID) decision to go forward with its annual 4th of July "Dying of the Ditch" celebration, despite complaints from protesters to stop the practice.

Ukulele Festival Attack Kills 17, Injures 4, and Damages Don Ho Memorabilia

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Pandemonium struck an annual Ukulele festivalThe annual Ukulele Festival put on by the American Ukulele Association (AUA), ended in tragedy on Sunday.  A masked gunman opened fire killing 17 festival attendees and wounding 35 others, including a cardboard cut-out of Don Ho.

Local Creamery Discontinuing Popular Butter-by-Mail Service

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Nevada City's Better Butter Creamery will discontinue its popular butter-by-mail service.Despite a surprising demand, local Better Butter Creamery has decided to discontinue sending they're award-winning butter via the US Mail due to numerous complaints from delivery personnel.

World Famous Grumpy Cat Dead At Age 5

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Grumpy Cat is kaput.The world is mourning the loss of one of its favorite stars. Grumpy Cat, also known as Tartar Sauce, was found dead this morning of an apparent suicide.

Area Man Fails to Live Up to the Promises of His Deodorant

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Jerry Heard of Truckee, CA is in a funk because he hasn't lived up to the promises of his underarm deodorant.A Truckee man has sunk into a deep depression after realizing that his underarm deodorant failed to create the manliness he was looking for. 31-year-old Jerry Heard came to this discovery after his trust Old Spice "Swagger"  didn't actually produce any actual swagger in his life.

Chipotle Caught Dumping E. Coli Infected Beef Into Lake Wildwood

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The source of Lake Wildwood's E. coli troubles have been traced to Chipolte.A late night patrol by a Lake Wildwood security vehicle caught employees of restaurant chain Chipotle Mexican Grill dumping approximately 200 lbs of ground beef near the spillway of the lake.

Baby Moses Re-enactment Goes Horribly Wrong on Local Creek

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A photo of the unidentified child who was apart of the baby Moses re-enactment.Things got out of hand right after the small crowd placed an area infant into a small basket in Deer Creek just under the highway overpass, and the brisk current swept the child downstream.

Junk Drawer Won’t Open Despite Repeated & Forceful Attempts

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A Typical American Junk Drawer Filled with Typical American Crap.Local resident and average guy Chip Day failed to open a "Junk Drawer" in his Morgan Ranch home despite repeated and forceful attempts to do so.

1,500,000 Gallons Of Sewage Spews Into Local Lake

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as much as 1.5 million gallons of raw sewage spilled into Lake Wildwood.The Lake Wildwood community, a private gated community with a private lake in western Nevada county, received more than they bargained for when county workers, by order of the Nevada County Board of Supervisors, opened up gaping holes in the communities sewer system.

Local Entrepreneur Thwarted by DSL

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Nevada County Home Business "Shake It Well" came to a screeching halt on Sunday night when Bob and Danni Schlozmeyer's DSL went down for the 3rd time that day and the 19th time this week.

Shocking Report: Sibling Blames the Other Sibling

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Nevada City, CA — Kevin Thomas has it all figured out. And he likes to explain his insights hourly to his entire family. He thinks his younger brother is pretty much the reason that everything sucks. “Why does he still watch lame Minecraft videos? Maybe because he’s retarded,” exclaimed Kevin. Kevin’s younger brother, Todd, responded, […]

Area Lottery Winner Plans to Travel/Masturbate Frequently

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Fresno Lottery winner Derrick Lopez says his plans on masturbating "all over the world" now.Recent multi-million dollar California Lottery winner Derrick Lopez of Fresno, CA told his friends on Facebook that he wants to fulfill his dreams of traveling the world following his huge windfall.

Historians: Nevada City, CA Actually an Old Star Trek Episode Set

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Nevada City, CA is in fact an old Star Trek set from the 1960s according to researchers.Historians from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist Universities have discovered that the quaint former gold rush town of Nevada City, California is actually a set from a lost Star Trek episode. The researchers made the discovery while digging through the Paramount television archives in Burbank, CA.
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