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Recently Paroled Unabomber Spotted at Area Best Buy

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Convicted "Unabomber" Ted Kaczynski was spotted in an area Best Buy electronics store earlier this week shopping for a new laptop and mobile phone, according to several sources from the Auburn, CA location.

Area Racist Never Responds to Trump Approval Poll Requests

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Area racist Terry Adkinson says he refuses to answer pollster questions truthfully.Area trinket collector, “oriental” food connoisseur and occasional racist Terry Adkinson says he's been contacted over the past few months by various polling operations such as Gallup and Rasmussen and refuses to answer their questions honestly.

Rocklin McDonald’s Under Fire for Giving Boy’s Happy Meal to Transitioning Child

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Following a "misgendered" issue at a Rocklin school, an area McDonald's is under fire for giving the boy's version of their famous Happy Meal to a "transitioning" child.A Rocklin, California McDonald's has come under fire for inappropriately handing out the "Boys" version of their famous Happy Meal to a "transitioning" 5-year-old child.

Tony Robbins: Nevada County Too Crazy For Me

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Inspirational speaker, author and giant human Tony Robbins has declined a speaking engagement at the Veterans Hall in Grass Valley.Inspirational speaker, author and giant human Tony Robbins has declined a speaking engagement at the Veterans Hall in Grass Valley, CA claiming in a leaked email, "They're way to crazy for me," referring to the people of Nevada County.

Area Irrigation Sprinkler Goes Rogue/Attacks Pavement

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An area sprinkler head has gone rogue and demanding more freedom and less oppression.An angry and rebellious irrigation sprinkler located on Grass Valley's Roundabout went rogue over the weekend and decided to water the pavement instead of its assigned flower bed, multiple sources are reporting.

Cell Phone Tower Doubles in Size Following Record Rains

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A 20016/2017 comparison of the remarkable growth the Grass Valley cell phone tower has experienced following this past year's record rainfall.The controversial cell phone tower with was erected in Grass Valley's Brunswick Basin has grown by over 70 feet following a record-setting year for rainfall.

Study: Cell Towers Kill Zika And West Nile Virus Mosquitoes

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A massive new study has found that cell towers kill disease-laden mosquitoes.A massive two year study conducted by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation and sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control's (CDC) National Toxicology Program (NTP) has determined that modern cell phone towers can deter and some cases kill mosquito disease vectors.

Utility Smart Meter Provides Area Woman with Vivid Dreams

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Brenda "Dusty" Woods of Nevada City, CA says her utility smart meter gives her vivid dreams.Brenda "Dusty" Woods of Nevada City, CA says that ever since PG&E installed an energy Smartmeter on the outside of her Cottage Street home, she's been experience vivid dreams.

Officials: NC Scooper May Be Developing Weapons-Grade Satire

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Several government officials warn the the NC Scooper is on the verge of weapons-grade satire.After a series of local and national events that seem unaffected by what experts call "vanilla-level satire," sources close to the Nevada County Scooper have indicated that the 92 year old publication is developing "weapons-grade satire."

Pat Robertson Blames Burning Man For Hurricanes

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Many of Robertson's loyal supporters have come to his defense, including Laura Swanson, she said, "those people have a one way ticket to hell with all of their fornicating and drug use."

Bill Nye Praises the Nevada County Scooper’s Fight Against Fake News

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Bill Nye the Science Guy seen here in the Nevada County Scooper Break Room. Ahead of his appearance at the Nevada City Film Festival, Bill Nye the Science Guy made a surprise appearance at the Nevada County Scooper offices this afternoon to thank the staff for courageous battle against fake news and science hoaxes.

“My Sexbot Cut Off My Penis,” Claims Area Man

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Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley, CA seen in at an area hospital with his sexbot "Evelyn."An area man is recovering in Sierra Nevada Memorial hospital after his "sexbot" malfunctioned and cut off his penis. Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley, CA purchased the life-sized sex toy last last month after Amazon.com became the first retailer to offer the robotic sex dolls.

Area Guinea Pig Unimpressed with Leftover Short Rib

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A Nevada City guinea pig seemed uninterested in a "short rib treat" left by its 12 year old owner.An area guinea pig 'Sugar Peaches' seemed unimpressed with a just-before-bed short rib snack left by its owner, 11-year-old Nevada City resident Stephanie Jameson.

Trimmigrant’s Skinny Jeans Leads to Hospitalization

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It is that time of year when hundreds of migrant workers descend on Nevada County for the marijuana harvest, they are known to locals as "trimmigrants".  

Nevada City Becomes Nation’s First Crowdfunded Town

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Nevada City, CA hopes to use several "crowdsourcing" platforms to generate operating income for the fiscally strapped city. Nevada City says that it plans to repeal and replace traditional revenue sources like taxes and fines, and use crowdsourcing systems to pay for the operations of the town.

Researchers Discover Ancient Petroglyph in California Lake

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A group of archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist University have discovered what appears to be an ancient petroglyph.A group of archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist University have discovered what appears to be an ancient petroglyph at the bottom of Scotts Flat Lake just outside of Nevada City, California.

New HAARP Relay Station Source of Fierce Local Debate

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Artist's rendition of the proposed HAARP antenna array on Banner Mountain.Sources close to the government have leaked a memo stating that a "relay-like antenna device" might be installed in the important HAARP Banner Mountain location.

Stone Mountain, GA Chosen for Immediate Syrian Refugee Relocation

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The Obama Administration has selected Stone Mountain Georgia to resettle thousands of Syrian refugees.Humanitarian workers will resettle the final wave of Syrian refugees in Stone Mountain as the remnants of the Obama Administration struggle to bring at least 10,000 Syrian refugees to the U.S. by the end of September.

Recently Discovered 1994 Study Reveals Mobile Phones Cause Cancer

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Palo Alto, CA — Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation has confirmed that Nevada City’s local documentary producer, and sometimes politician, Saihra Ramun has produced heavily redacted Freedom of Information Act reports which reveal Tigua Mobil and Leonidas Cellular may have been using technology that can damage rat testicles and/or their brains. The full study, expected […]

Federal Gun Confiscation Unit Arrives in Penn Valley, CA

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After a 6-month investigation, the Federal Government working with the Nevada City Police Department's special "Carry and Conceal Elimination" task force, has authorized the deployment of its special "Gun Confiscation Unit" to the upstart and conservative Sierra Foothills community of Penn Valley, CA.
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