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    You Like? Please Share.Nevada County, CA – Documents obtained by the Nevada County Scooper following the recent bust of a local ISIS sleeper cell reveal that the terrorist group was pleased that a Costco was opening up in Auburn, CA. According to the seized documents, cell leader “Mustaqeem” commented in his “infidel diary” about the […]

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    What man wouldn't wanna come home to a woman like Starla?

    You Like? Please Share.Roseville, CA – In January and February, gyms always see an influx of new members fulfilling their short lived New Year’s resolutions to live a healthier more active life.   Most will quit after a few months using lack of time as their primary excuse.   Misty Smith from Roseville, CA, however, is quitting because […]

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    The Famous Ridge Feed And Supply chicken is seeking to be a cow

    You Like? Please Share.Grass Valley, CA – Neighbors surrounding the Ridge Feed and Supply store on Ridge Road learned that the iconic Mascot Chicken is seeking a “Species Re-Assignment” surgery after learning about the trials and tribulations of Bruce Jenner. “I’m not a chicken,” said the chicken in an exclusive Scooper interview. “I’m a cow. […]

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    Fiber Internet Promises Faster Crap/More Services

    You Like? Please Share.Nevada County, CA – Yesterday’s announcement by local success story Spiral Internet that it will be providing Fiber Optic Internet with speeds of up to 1 Gigabit per minute was met with cheers from around Nevada County. “Finally,” said Herman M. Dean of Banner Lava Cap Road, “I’ll be able to get more crap […]

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    Jenny McCarthy: "One Poke Per Visit"

    You Like? Please Share. Free events tentatively scheduled at the Briar Patch Community Room in Grass Valley Saturday February 7th at 10:30 AM, 1:00PM and 2:30PM Books and autographs available for sale after each discussion.   Playboy Magazine’s 2003 Playmate of the Year and controversial author Jenny McCarthy will be coming to Nevada County to […]

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    Second City FeaturedYou Like? Please Share.Nevada City, CA – The touring version of the Chicago-based, comedy troupe The Second City is traveling to Nevada City in hopes of getting autographs and inspiration from their beau ideal news source The Nevada County Scooper. Known for improvisation, incessant name-dropping of its alums and finding the three Canadians who are […]

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    Couch Potato

    You Like? Please Share.Grass Valley, CA – Local 15 year old Kevin Thomas of Grass Valley ingested an entire bag of Ricola™ Big Bag Sugar Free Lemon Mint Cough Drops after arriving from home from Nevada Union High School late yesterday afternoon. “Man, those things sucked,” said a lazy and over-dramatic Kevin. “And my stomach […]

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    open refrigerator

    You Like? Please Share.  Grass Valley, CA — 15-year-old Kevin Thomas of Grass Valley, CA has opened his family’s refrigerator for the 14th time in the past hour for no apparent reason. “I keep telling him to get the hell out of the refrigerator,” said his exasperated father Craig Thomas. “He never gets anything out, but […]

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    The proposal outlines the President's plan to provide a district or "colony" on American soil where anti-vaxxers would be free to keep their offspring pure, inviting any number of viral epidemics from the Middle Ages through the 1950s without suffering the scorn and judgement of those with opposing belief systems.

    You Like? Please Share.Washington D.C. – In a last minute press conference called to address the recent measles outbreak, President Obama has proposed a solution to deal with the Anti-Vaccination or Anti-Vax movement. “Reminiscent of yesteryear,” said President Obama from the Oval Office, “when like-minded people gathered together in territories designated to allow them to […]

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    Pacific trash vortex_featuredYou Like? Please Share.Nevada County, CA – “A location of great historical significance is at risk, and its blood will be on Nevada County’s hands.” This was the stern warning issued today by the Great Pacific Garbage Patch Preservation Society, a local conservation group dedicated to fighting legislation that would endanger the Pacific trash vortex, […]

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    Ivan

    You Like? Please Share.Grass Valley, CA – The Scooper has learned that the 150 year old-ish Grass Valley-based Newspaper The Union is written, edited, administered and published by a single reporter news savant Ivan Natividad. “I figured as much,” said a Facebook commenter. “There’s no way they produce copy so fast with a whole staff […]

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  • 02/11/15--05:30: R.L. Crabb Status Page
  • R.L. Crabb Status

    You Like? Please Share. R.L. Crabb, the Scooper’s patron saint and local cartoon legend  is currently: Apparenly is alive and was injured by a Yakuza sniper’s bullet Updated Daily: GMT, that’s like England         Scooper Related PostsR.L. Crabb Apparently Not DeadForty Niner Football Fracas at Local Cornish GatheringBrief: R.L. Crabb/Scooper in Dubious […]

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    Suggested Ranch Serving proposed by a new Board of Supervisor's ordinance

    The Nevada County Board of Supervisors unanimously voted on Monday to make Ranch Dressing the official condiment of Nevada County.

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    Apache helicopter

    Police supporters point out that the dark, foreboding "vibe" of the new vehicles is really an attempt to show the caring side of local law enforcement.

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    One of the lesser known "Friends" groups: Friends of Proper Furniture in Robinson Plaza

    After months of deliberation, planning and passive-aggressive city council meetings, Nevada City has finally settled on a new slogan to entice tourist dollars to the quaint Sierra foothills community.

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    Grainy Photo taken by Mr. Bradenshauer.Keith Bradenshauer of Alta Sierra swears he spotted Bigfoot Saturday night along Norlene Drive on his way back from making a payment on his Check Cashing Service advance.

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    A North San Juan man has completed an exhaustive Internet study to reveal that humans have something called "Chemtrail Breath."

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    Nothing expresses xenophobia more precisely than a Facebook rant about bad drivers.In another terse “locals” against “transplants” debate, the Nevada County Facebook community pages have been heating up over which faction is doing all of the shitty driving in the area, and now the online fracas has spilled into the streets.

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    displeased woman reading news on phone throwing away heart

    After being single for only 20 minutes, esteemed Scooper photojournalist, Sarah Azura Belou, decided she had been alone long enough and joined a popular online dating website.

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    Now you can get your Coffee Colonics via drive thru, take out or in the new Starbucks™ colonic-friendly restrooms.

    Starbucks™ Corporation announced late Friday that it plans to augment its extensive line of coffee, teas and snacks with a new colonic/enema health care option.

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