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(showing articles 1 to 50 of 50)
(showing articles 1 to 50 of 50)

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    Construction workers were terrified to find a monstrous Sarlacc during their repairs of the giant sinkhole in Grass Valley.Local workers made a startling discovery when performing repairs on Grass Valley’s seven-story tall sinkhole on Freeman Lane. While shoring up and placing supports at the foot of the sinkhole, a Sarlacc suddenly appeared from below devouring three workers and two earthmovers in a matter of seconds.

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    California Governor Jerry Brown and pop singer Linda Ronstadt were back in the news this week when the two were spotted at a popular Nevada City, California tavern Friday night.

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    Area gasoline stations are bowing to pressure from social justice groups and installing braille instructions on their pumps.Select Northern California Flyers service stations are bowing to pressure from various social justice organizations and installing tactile Braille systems for the blind on gasoline pumps.

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    The Easter Island moai that Cedar Ridge's Pete Johnson attempted to smuggle into the United States. Source, US Customs, Sacramento Bureau.Cedar Ridge exotic pet owner Pete Johnson is in hot water today at Sacramento International Airport after he attempted to smuggle an entire Easter Island moai (one of the Island's famous monumental statues) through customs.

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    "Russian" hackers have claimed responsibility for placing adult movies on an area high schools JumboTron. Source: High School Senior Kevin Thomas.A Russian hacking group is claiming responsibility for seizing control of an area high school stadium's JumboTron television and running porn on it for over 4 hours earlier today.

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    Artist's depiction of the BriarPatch Roundabout.Fresh on the heels of a large parking lot expansion project, which included the installation of over 680 high-performance solar panels, the Grass Valley BriarPatch COOP leadership announced today that it plans on moving forward with a controversial Roundabout in the parking lot.

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    The 2700 ft. Nevada City SkyTower as seen from Broad Street.The Nevada City government overwhelmingly approved the construction of a 2722 ft (830m) communication building which is tentatively dubbed the Nevada City SkyTower.

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    What a proposed Mar-a-Lago West would look like in Grass Valley's Kmart shopping center.According to leaked documents from the Trump administration, corroborated by Wikileaks, Donald Trump Enterprises plans on building a replica of the President's Florida estate in the former gold rush town of Grass Valley, CA.

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    Kevin Thomas of Grass Valley suffering from heatstroke after mowing approximately 27 ft of their family's front lawn.Area teenager Kevin Thomas (17) of Grass Valley said he needed to be treated for heat stroke after being "brutally forced" his family's 200 square foot lawn over the weekend.

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    Retired teacher David Blakemore speaks with local high school students about his nightmares at the 1969 Woodstock Festival.Retired 10th grade English teacher David Blakemore of Nevada City recent spoke to a small gathering in Nevada Union High School's drama department about his exciting adventures during the 1969 Woodstock Music & Art Fair.

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    A new report says Sierra City is not prepared for the influx of Alex Jones protesters. The Sierra County Sheriff begs to differ.After the announcement earlier this year that the small Sierra Nevada town Sierra City will host the 2016 Bilderberg Group meeting, a new report from the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation has some troubling findings about the ability of the small Sierra Nevada hamlet to accommodate an influx of protesters.

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    Nevada City, CA will become the first city in the nation to be "Chemtrail free."As the city council seats with new members this year, first on the agenda according to City Hall insiders will be a declaration that Nevada City is a Chemtrail-free zone. This will make the rustic gold rush town the first in the nation to enact such a law.

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    In what Koch Industries is calling a "novel and effective way to give back to local communities," the American mega conglomerate announced late Monday night that it plans on opening one of their popular PayAdvantages™ payday loan and check cashing stores next to the DollarTree® in Grass Valley.

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    Television personality and Family Guy star Peter Griffin has volunteered to replace controversial comedian Kathy Griffin following a controversial fake beheading of President Trump.After recent and abrupt news the Grass Valley's Center for the Arts had canceled a scheduled appearance by comedian Kathy Griffin, organizers scrambled for a replacement.

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    An area man is a little upset at some of the offensive words and invectives lately thrown his way by passersby for his deeply personal tattoo.

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    A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

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    A North Church Street cat accidentally ingested an entire stash of methamphetamine late this week and went on a murderous rampage. After eating what authorities claim was a small amount of "Biznack," Abu, the name of the male black cat, not only destroyed the inside of the small studio home, but also killed both occupants.

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    A recently discovered photograph seems to show aviation innovator Lyman Gilmore flying over Grass Valley, CA in 1902.For over a hundred years, many Grass Valley locals have maintained that the Wright Brothers famous 1903 flight at Kittyhawk, North Carolina was the second time in humans flew in an airplane.

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    Area petty criminal Jimmie Saldoscent is recovering in custody today after mistakingly trying to siphon gasoline from a local RV's septic tank.Area petty criminal Jimmie Saldoscent has been booked into the Wayne Brown Correctional facility after admitting to accidentally siphoning raw sewage from a Grass Valley recreational vehicle after intending to steal gasoline.

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    The Chemtrail Action Network (CAN) announced the first ever traveling Chemtrail Film Festival coming to Nevada City, CA this January. The film festival will be making its first stop in the secluded Sierra Nevada Foothills town for a 4 day run starting on the 14th of August and running until 18th.

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    Don Vada of North BloomfieldLocal malcontent and self-proclaimed dickhead Don Vaca really hates people who state the obvious. Recently, while attempting to order a Starbucks drink at a local, privately-owned coffee shop, Mr. Vaca announced loudly to the crowded cafe that anyone who points out 'fake news' is probably a 'fag.'

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    People have been driving strangely around Hank Snow after the Grass Valley handyman purchased a surplus Crowne Victoria Police car.

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    Only 15 students graduated this year from Nevada Union High School located in Grass Valley, CA.Only 15 of the 517 students from Nevada Union High School's class of 2016 managed to graduate this year. The astonishing low number shocked and surprised parents and administrators across Nevada County.

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    What was designed to be a local tribute to our community's appreciation for American heroes and tolerance for racial diversity has become a point of heated controversy, not just in the small town of Grass Valley, California, but on the international stage as well.

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    An adult male had reportedly barricaded himself inside his bedroom/kitchen and was “acting extremely erratically,” according to reports.A man wanted on multiple warrants surrendered peacefully nearly eight hours after barricading himself inside his tiny home Friday.

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    Graduating students from Nevada Union High School marched down the aisle to Amy Winehouse's "Rehab"Attendees at Grass Valley's Nevada Union High School graduation were both surprised and concerned over the weekend when the traditional processional march song "Pomp and Circumstance" was replaced with Amy Winehouse's song "Rehab."

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    A local family learned the hard way that a steady diet of soda pop and potato chips can have a direct impact on the groin health of fellow camp-mates.

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    Anti-Bilderberg Group protesters, lead by controversial media personality Alex Jones, left tons of garbage following the meeting.Following what organizers are calling "the most productive global re-alignment gathering in years," citizens of the small Sierra Nevada town of Sierra City are dealing with a massive garbage aftermath left by anti-Bilderberg Group protesters.

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    The famous Shroud of Turin will be making its only United States stop in Nevada City, CA.The Shroud of Turin, the linen cloth bearing the image of a man that some Christians believe to be the burial shroud of Jesus of Nazareth, is going to be displayed at the Nevada City Chamber of Commerce starting in January 2018.

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    A 4 year study by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation of major television broadcasts and newspaper outlets has found that continual coverage of mass shootings and murders is leads the population at large to feel very sad.

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    Area musician David Robock draws deep inspiration from chemtrails.Area musician David Robock used to cite an eclectic mix of influences while he was still cutting his teeth on the local club circuit. Bands like Megadeth, Smashing Pumpkins, and solo artists like Prince and Merle Haggard were a constant source of inspiration.

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    KVMR announced late last week that they will be hosting the county's first 24 hour Lawrence Welk marathon. The move, which according to insiders was driven by elderly activism who wished to "also have a voice," is seen as a disingenuous attempt to combat and mute much of what area aging activists feel is a "anti-conservative/pro-liberal" agenda at the radio station.

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    "BIG Boy” PD97-3034 Chemtrail Drone. Source: US Military.In a surprise executive order, the Trump Administration announced plans to license and deploy aerial drones to conduct Chemtrail spraying operations.

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    Nevada City becomes the nation's first municipality to decriminalize nudity.After years of government lobbying by activist groups, Nevada City announced this week that it will become the nation's first to not only decriminalize all forms of public nudity, but will take active steps to encourage it.

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    ISIS Terrorists on the Del Oro Theater. Source: InstagramA rocket-propelled grenade was fired from the roof of the Del Oro Theater striking a late model Toyota late Saturday afternoon in Grass Valley, CA. The attack, which ISIS took responsibility for, was targeted the first white car to emerge from the Safeway parking lot on Neal Street.

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    Despite an earnest sense of voluntarism, an area pothole hasn't been fixed.A large Grass Valley pothole has gone unrepaired despite the claims of some neighbors that "enlightened self interest" would fix it

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    New Jersey Governor Chris Christie seen here "hogging" the entire Oregon Creek State Park beach on the Middle Fork of the Yuba River.Fresh on the heels of a New Jersey Beach closure scandal that has lowered the already unpopular Governor's favorability rating, Christie Christie is back in the negative spotlight again after he closed an entire South Yuba River State Park this weekend.

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    Area activists are furious with the Nevada Irrigation District's decision to go ahead with its annual "Ditch Dye" event.Area environmental activists are furious over the Nevada Irrigation District's (NID) decision to go forward with its annual 4th of July "Dying of the Ditch" celebration, despite complaints from protesters to stop the practice.

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    Pandemonium struck an annual Ukulele festivalThe annual Ukulele Festival put on by the American Ukulele Association (AUA), ended in tragedy on Sunday.  A masked gunman opened fire killing 17 festival attendees and wounding 35 others, including a cardboard cut-out of Don Ho.

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    Nevada City's Better Butter Creamery will discontinue its popular butter-by-mail service.Despite a surprising demand, local Better Butter Creamery has decided to discontinue sending they're award-winning butter via the US Mail due to numerous complaints from delivery personnel.

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    Grumpy Cat is kaput.The world is mourning the loss of one of its favorite stars. Grumpy Cat, also known as Tartar Sauce, was found dead this morning of an apparent suicide.

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    Jerry Heard of Truckee, CA is in a funk because he hasn't lived up to the promises of his underarm deodorant.A Truckee man has sunk into a deep depression after realizing that his underarm deodorant failed to create the manliness he was looking for. 31-year-old Jerry Heard came to this discovery after his trust Old Spice "Swagger"  didn't actually produce any actual swagger in his life.

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    The source of Lake Wildwood's E. coli troubles have been traced to Chipolte.A late night patrol by a Lake Wildwood security vehicle caught employees of restaurant chain Chipotle Mexican Grill dumping approximately 200 lbs of ground beef near the spillway of the lake.

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    A photo of the unidentified child who was apart of the baby Moses re-enactment.Things got out of hand right after the small crowd placed an area infant into a small basket in Deer Creek just under the highway overpass, and the brisk current swept the child downstream.

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    A Typical American Junk Drawer Filled with Typical American Crap.Local resident and average guy Chip Day failed to open a "Junk Drawer" in his Morgan Ranch home despite repeated and forceful attempts to do so.

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    as much as 1.5 million gallons of raw sewage spilled into Lake Wildwood.The Lake Wildwood community, a private gated community with a private lake in western Nevada county, received more than they bargained for when county workers, by order of the Nevada County Board of Supervisors, opened up gaping holes in the communities sewer system.

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    Nevada County Home Business "Shake It Well" came to a screeching halt on Sunday night when Bob and Danni Schlozmeyer's DSL went down for the 3rd time that day and the 19th time this week.

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    Nevada City, CA — Kevin Thomas has it all figured out. And he likes to explain his insights hourly to his entire family. He thinks his younger brother is pretty much the reason that everything sucks. “Why does he still watch lame Minecraft videos? Maybe because he’s retarded,” exclaimed Kevin. Kevin’s younger brother, Todd, responded, […]

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    Fresno Lottery winner Derrick Lopez says his plans on masturbating "all over the world" now.Recent multi-million dollar California Lottery winner Derrick Lopez of Fresno, CA told his friends on Facebook that he wants to fulfill his dreams of traveling the world following his huge windfall.

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    Nevada City, CA is in fact an old Star Trek set from the 1960s according to researchers.Historians from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist Universities have discovered that the quaint former gold rush town of Nevada City, California is actually a set from a lost Star Trek episode. The researchers made the discovery while digging through the Paramount television archives in Burbank, CA.