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(showing articles 1 to 50 of 50)
(showing articles 1 to 50 of 50)

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    Artist's rendition of the proposed Sierra Buttes project. Yeah, you get what you pay for. No lip.In what may prove a bonanza for local tourism and a boost for racial harmony, President Obama has just signed an executive memorandum calling for the creation of a Mount Rushmore-like creation on the Sierra Buttes celebrating great African Americans.

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    Mary Shilling vs. The Grass Valley RoundaboutMary Shilling of Penn Valley became confounded Sunday afternoon after a run-in with Grass Valley's roundabout.

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    Jason Dant of Penn Valley says his local militia will stake out a space on Grass Valley's new cell phone tower.Penn Valley's Jason Dant says his local militia will stake out a space on Grass Valley's new cell phone tower to prevent Hillary Clinton and "libtards" from taking over America.

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    Saudis to Purchase Del Oro Theater/Redesign Tower into Islamic MinaretA group of influential and secretive Saudi investors announced this week that they plan on purchasing the Del Oro Theater located in Grass Valley, CA. As a part of the sale, the current iconic Del Oro Tower will be replaced with Islamic Minaret.

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    Local authorities are urging calm during the upcoming military exercise in Grass Valley.Nevada County Police will be collaborating with the FBI, the ATF and other Department of Homeland Security agencies to conduct 'martial law-type scenarios' in Nevada County at an unspecified time later this year.

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    boss-hog-trumpDonald J. Trump grew up idolizing Hogg for all his achievements in the business world. After a recent campaign stop in Atlanta, Mr. Trump took a detour to visit his old friend in Hazzard County.

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    Spenceville turkey ShootArea Right Wing "Conservarian" blogger George Rebane accidentally injured fellow area blogger Todd Juvenal in Spenceville this weekend during their annual wild turkey hunt.

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    Joseph "Janks" Hanks at home.Janks was born, premature, on a cold December evening in Yuba City, California in 1997. His birth mother was 13 years old and a victim of incestuous sexual assault. It was very clear to the birth staff at the hospital that this baby would have a tough go at life.

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    Pete Johnson in FijiCedar Ridge, CA resident Pete Johnson was briefly detained by TSA officials when they discovered a whole slaughtered New Zealand lamb in his carry-on luggage.

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    The famous Shroud of Turin will be making its only United States stop in Nevada City, CA.The Shroud of Turin, the linen cloth bearing the image of a man that some Christians believe to be the burial shroud of Jesus of Nazareth, is going to be displayed at the Nevada City Chamber of Commerce starting in January 2017.

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    An epic battle was spotted over Nevada County's skies this week when Jesus fought Godzilla for sky dominance.Not long after Jesus made an appearance over the skies of Nevada County, Godzilla, who is a giant monster awakened by the nuclear disaster in Japan's Fukushima Prefecture, challenged the leader of the world's largest religion to a "fight for the heavens" according to witnesses at the Higgins Corner Chevron station.

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    Help-Harvest-MoonashDue to a somewhat unseasonal rainstorm, some Nevada County "farmers" are demanding that local schools close to give area families extra labor for an emergency harvest.

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    After publishing an inaccurate and racist paid advertisement, the Union wonders what could possibly go wrong?The Union of Grass Valley has taken a page out of its 150 year legacy with a recent advertisement. Unfortunately for the local paper, that page appears to be from sometime in 1952.

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    Kim Rice doesn't understand why her husband won't use a towel.Ken Rice used a soiled sock found on his Cedar Ridge, CA bathroom floor to dry himself early Tuesday morning, according to sources close to the Rice family.

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    taco-truckThe appearance of an apparent long-silvery space vehicle in the downtown Grass Valley, CA Safeway parking lot has been verified as an out-of-town Taco Truck and not a US Air Force surveillance device.

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    Angela White likes eating "ethnic food" and really is happy that Grass Valley has a decent Indian restaurant.Angela White is believes that a local restaurant's butter chicken is as good as in India despite having never visited the largely vegetarian Asian country.

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    The Foundation hopes to have the same success at Cornish Christmas as it did with it's popular Fracking Drill Bit campaign.Susan G. Komen Foundation has partnered with the Grass Valley Chamber of Commerce, the City Council and the Grass Valley Downtown Association to turn Cornish Christmas into a "pink" event to raise money.

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    DoD to add fluoride to current chemtrail efforts in Nevada County.The DoD is expanding its current PZ-11X1 and PS-09B3 chemtrail distribution programs by adding aerosolized fluoride into its disbursement systems.

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    At a recent family night out, Grass Valley's Terry Adkinson took it upon himself to rank the value of different ethnic foods.Area racist and Trump supporter Terry Adkinson of Grass Valley made a point Sunday night to rank Ethnic food based on its "value" to society.

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    Zahhak Sobek Tribal WeaverZahhak Sobek, who is visiting the small California Gold Rush town from his home planet of Nocknon which orbits the star KIC 8462852, said he enjoys shopping Earth for trinkets and what-nots and recently discovered the delights of water pipe smoking.

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    Man sitting in living room by fireplace with newspaper smilingIt's hard running a newspaper these days. Liberals are so sensitive and hard to please, and conservatives want you to burn all the political correctness down to the ground.

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    Nevada City, CA's Trump Tacos is being sued by Donald Trump for trademark infringement.Trump Enterprises announced today that it plans on suing a small California taqueria for infringing on the Presidential Candidates trademarked name.

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    Victorian carolers will have to adjust their songs to more Native American ThemesNevada City, CA — Native Americans are on the warpath against Victorian Christmas in what they claim is yet another threat against their status as “the original locals”. This beloved annual event in Nevada City attracts thousands of residents and visitors who enjoy shopping for locally made gifts. What it means to be “local” is […]

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    Grocery OutletIn a rare, but not unprecedented event, a flash mob spontaneously broke out late Wednesday afternoon inside of the Grass Valley, CA Grocery Outlet grocery store. Patrons both inside and out joined in the free-for-all melee and danced with mad abandon.

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    Dollar StoreGrass Valley, CA —  In a bold move to satisfy local residents’ desire for impulsive crap purchases, Dollar Bargain Direct Enterprises announced it was opening what will be the 15th under-a-dollar bargain store in Grass Valley, a city of just over 12,000 people. “We believe that Grass Valley is an under-served market for the bargain shopper,” commented Dollar Bargain Direct […]

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    Reynaldo M. Rodriguez and Stephen DonallyFor the third straight night, are seniors at debated the ethnicity of a KCRA TV News Reporter during the evening broadcast in their community center.

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    Area Household a Hotbed of Machiavellian Maneuvers During Chore TimeChildren across America are unwittingly, and in some cases deliberately, engaging Machiavellian maneuvers during chore time to offload their chores to other less savvy siblings.

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    Donald TrumpWillow Sunblaze of Nevada City, CA was arrested at GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump's New York City rally. He has since been released after posting his $40,000 bond in cash.

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    Traveling meat salesman Paul Sieben got his ass handed to him in Grass Valley, CA.Traveling meat salesman Paul Sieben got a negative earful on Wednesday when he unsuccessfully went door-to-door attempting to get the residents of Rhode Island Street to buy his meat products. Mr. Sieben, who works for the Consolidated Meat Distributors, LLC has been selling meat out of the back of his Ford Taurus for over 12 years and recently decided to try the Nevada County territory.

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    The Nun Mafia was founded by Pope Paul III in 1541 to help expedite the excommunication of Henry the VIII of EnglandEsteemed Cartoonist and Scooper Patron Saint RL Crabb is reportedly in hiding after receiving threats from the notorious "Nun Mafia" over the weekend.

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    new+crumbling+foundation_1200Area transplant, Lake of the Pines resident and current commuting Chevron employee Wes Ford announced to his friends and family on Friday night that he plans to "build his own foundation" on a piece of property he inherited from his uncle south of Highway 20.

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    The militia group APART in Portland, OR.Members of an armed militia group from rural Virginia calling themselves APART, were detained by police over night after the group took it upon themselves to “arrest” and “detain” several anti-Trump protesters from the newly formed activist group “Portland’s Resistance."

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    Nevada City, CA will become the first city in the nation to be "Chemtrail free."As the city council seats with new members this year, first on the agenda according to City Hall insiders will be a declaration that Nevada City is a Chemtrail-free zone. This will make the rustic gold rush town the first in the nation to enact such a law.

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    Girl Scout Awareness FeaturedThis year the Girl Scouts of America have expanded their social outreach to include some of the more pressing issues confronting Women across the world. To accomplish this, the 103 year old organization has announced a limited-time line of what they are calling "awareness cookies" which will augment the current cookie offerings which include Carmel deLites, formerly known as Samoas, Peanut Butter Patties and the family hoarding favorite, Thin Mints.

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    For Nevada City cat Bella, life hasn't worked out the way she planned.Bella, a middle-aged tabby cat said that she had dreams of freedom and endless supplies of canned tuna, none of which came to pass.

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    Brent Underwood has replaced all of the toilet seats at work with bidets.Area millennial technology worker Brent Underwood took it upon himself late last week to replace all of his company's toilet seats with automatic bidet "butt washers," the Scooper has learned.

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    Nevada City will be the first in the nation to experiment with a "man bun tax."As a way to increase revenues as the tax base shrinks, one California city has come up with a novel way to fund local services: a tax on the current male hair grooming trend called "the man bun."

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    Jake Zillevich of Grass Valley is concerned about the government controlling every part of his life.Jake Zillevich of Grass Valley is concerned about gullible people on Social Media and has made it his mission to point out the satire as often as possible.

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    A picture of Amelia Brushworn's dog found on her North Bloomfield, CA home.A Northern Californian woman has died after being attacked by her rabid dog, authorities reported yesterday. Amelia Brushworn of North Bloomfield, California was found dead at her home by relatives.

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    Julian Assange has been offered political Asylum in Nevada City, CA.A group of Nevada City, California activists are celebrating tonight after they have successfully lobbied the city council to grant Wikileaks founder and chief spokesman Julian Assange political asylum in the town.

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    Proposed Dollar Fur Store provided by the Roseville, CA-based Developer.A group of developers announced a plan to open a discount "dollar" animal pelt store in the vacant Alpha Building at the foot of Broad Street in Nevada City, CA.

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    Melinda Harborshauer painAfter meeting with her surgeon at Sutter Roseville Medical Center in Roseville, CA, 38 year old Nevada City resident Melinda Harborshauer insisted that she be allowed to use medical marijuana for both anesthesia and post operation pain management.

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    Cascade Shores Family Cited For Viking Funeral at Scott’s Flat LakeA local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

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    Skyy Wolford FukushimaNorth San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd that two of his three Geiger counters were registering abnormally high levels of radiation.

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    Skyy Wolford and El Nino radiationIt appears that the radioactive fallout from the Fukushima disaster in Japan in 2011 may spread a bit more rapidly than scientific models previously predicted due to this year's El Niño conditions, conditions not previously modeled in scientific studies.

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    "BIG Boy” PD97-3034 Chemtrail Drone. Source: US Military.In a surprise executive order, the Obama Administration announced plans to license and deploy aerial drones to conduct Chemtrail spraying operations.

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    Pete Johnson of Cedar Ridge attempting to capture his pet Bull "Jim" on Mill Street in Grass Valley. Picture courtesy of Janet Williams of Cedar Ridge.Cedar Ridge exotic pet owner Pete Johnson is in hot water today after taking one of his two "pet" bulls on a walk in Downtown Grass Valley. Mr. Johnson, who is no stranger to animal controversies, arrived on Mill Street around 1pm yesterday with his pet bull "Jim," and things immediately got out of hand.

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    This shirt protects himself and the community according to Carl RennieMr. Rennie of Grass Valley has never fired as much as water pistol. He likes to talk big on the local Facebook groups about the importance of arming all citizens to protect them, in his words, "from the bad guys and the government.

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    Co-Worker Enjoys "Outing" Fellow Workers on FacebookThe local DJ, who makes his living as an Information Technology worker, said on Monday that taddle-telling to the bosses of frequent Facebookers regarding their activity is a fair argument tactic.

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    Poor playing hasn't stopped David “Davi” Simmons from playing his favorite instrument. Seen here at his usual place on Commercial Street.David “Davi” Simmons vividly remembers hearing the sitar for the very first time. It was during a late night “sesh” back in high school when a friend played him George Harrison’s Within You Without You from The Beatles late sixties masterpiece, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.