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(showing articles 1 to 50 of 50)
(showing articles 1 to 50 of 50)

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    Construction workers were terrified to find a monstrous Sarlacc during their repairs of the giant sinkhole in Grass Valley.Local workers made a startling discovery when performing repairs on Grass Valley’s seven-story tall sinkhole on Freeman Lane. While shoring up and placing supports at the foot of the sinkhole, a Sarlacc suddenly appeared from below devouring three workers and two earthmovers in a matter of seconds.

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    What was designed to be a local tribute to our community's appreciation for American heroes and tolerance for racial diversity has become a point of heated controversy, not just in the small town of Grass Valley, California, but on the international stage as well.

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    An adult male had reportedly barricaded himself inside his bedroom/kitchen and was “acting extremely erratically,” according to reports.A man wanted on multiple warrants surrendered peacefully nearly eight hours after barricading himself inside his tiny home Friday.

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    Graduating students from Nevada Union High School marched down the aisle to Amy Winehouse's "Rehab"Attendees at Grass Valley's Nevada Union High School graduation were both surprised and concerned over the weekend when the traditional processional march song "Pomp and Circumstance" was replaced with Amy Winehouse's song "Rehab."

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    A local family learned the hard way that a steady diet of soda pop and potato chips can have a direct impact on the groin health of fellow camp-mates.

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    Anti-Bilderberg Group protesters, lead by controversial media personality Alex Jones, left tons of garbage following the meeting.Following what organizers are calling "the most productive global re-alignment gathering in years," citizens of the small Sierra Nevada town of Sierra City are dealing with a massive garbage aftermath left by anti-Bilderberg Group protesters.

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    The famous Shroud of Turin will be making its only United States stop in Nevada City, CA.The Shroud of Turin, the linen cloth bearing the image of a man that some Christians believe to be the burial shroud of Jesus of Nazareth, is going to be displayed at the Nevada City Chamber of Commerce starting in January 2018.

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    A 4 year study by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation of major television broadcasts and newspaper outlets has found that continual coverage of mass shootings and murders is leads the population at large to feel very sad.

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    Area musician David Robock draws deep inspiration from chemtrails.Area musician David Robock used to cite an eclectic mix of influences while he was still cutting his teeth on the local club circuit. Bands like Megadeth, Smashing Pumpkins, and solo artists like Prince and Merle Haggard were a constant source of inspiration.

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    KVMR announced late last week that they will be hosting the county's first 24 hour Lawrence Welk marathon. The move, which according to insiders was driven by elderly activism who wished to "also have a voice," is seen as a disingenuous attempt to combat and mute much of what area aging activists feel is a "anti-conservative/pro-liberal" agenda at the radio station.

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    "BIG Boy” PD97-3034 Chemtrail Drone. Source: US Military.In a surprise executive order, the Trump Administration announced plans to license and deploy aerial drones to conduct Chemtrail spraying operations.

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    Nevada City becomes the nation's first municipality to decriminalize nudity.After years of government lobbying by activist groups, Nevada City announced this week that it will become the nation's first to not only decriminalize all forms of public nudity, but will take active steps to encourage it.

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    ISIS Terrorists on the Del Oro Theater. Source: InstagramA rocket-propelled grenade was fired from the roof of the Del Oro Theater striking a late model Toyota late Saturday afternoon in Grass Valley, CA. The attack, which ISIS took responsibility for, was targeted the first white car to emerge from the Safeway parking lot on Neal Street.

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    Despite an earnest sense of voluntarism, an area pothole hasn't been fixed.A large Grass Valley pothole has gone unrepaired despite the claims of some neighbors that "enlightened self interest" would fix it

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    New Jersey Governor Chris Christie seen here "hogging" the entire Oregon Creek State Park beach on the Middle Fork of the Yuba River.Fresh on the heels of a New Jersey Beach closure scandal that has lowered the already unpopular Governor's favorability rating, Christie Christie is back in the negative spotlight again after he closed an entire South Yuba River State Park this weekend.

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    Area activists are furious with the Nevada Irrigation District's decision to go ahead with its annual "Ditch Dye" event.Area environmental activists are furious over the Nevada Irrigation District's (NID) decision to go forward with its annual 4th of July "Dying of the Ditch" celebration, despite complaints from protesters to stop the practice.

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    Pandemonium struck an annual Ukulele festivalThe annual Ukulele Festival put on by the American Ukulele Association (AUA), ended in tragedy on Sunday.  A masked gunman opened fire killing 17 festival attendees and wounding 35 others, including a cardboard cut-out of Don Ho.

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    Nevada City's Better Butter Creamery will discontinue its popular butter-by-mail service.Despite a surprising demand, local Better Butter Creamery has decided to discontinue sending they're award-winning butter via the US Mail due to numerous complaints from delivery personnel.

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    Grumpy Cat is kaput.The world is mourning the loss of one of its favorite stars. Grumpy Cat, also known as Tartar Sauce, was found dead this morning of an apparent suicide.

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    Jerry Heard of Truckee, CA is in a funk because he hasn't lived up to the promises of his underarm deodorant.A Truckee man has sunk into a deep depression after realizing that his underarm deodorant failed to create the manliness he was looking for. 31-year-old Jerry Heard came to this discovery after his trust Old Spice "Swagger"  didn't actually produce any actual swagger in his life.

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    The source of Lake Wildwood's E. coli troubles have been traced to Chipolte.A late night patrol by a Lake Wildwood security vehicle caught employees of restaurant chain Chipotle Mexican Grill dumping approximately 200 lbs of ground beef near the spillway of the lake.

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    A photo of the unidentified child who was apart of the baby Moses re-enactment.Things got out of hand right after the small crowd placed an area infant into a small basket in Deer Creek just under the highway overpass, and the brisk current swept the child downstream.

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    A Typical American Junk Drawer Filled with Typical American Crap.Local resident and average guy Chip Day failed to open a "Junk Drawer" in his Morgan Ranch home despite repeated and forceful attempts to do so.

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    as much as 1.5 million gallons of raw sewage spilled into Lake Wildwood.The Lake Wildwood community, a private gated community with a private lake in western Nevada county, received more than they bargained for when county workers, by order of the Nevada County Board of Supervisors, opened up gaping holes in the communities sewer system.

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    Nevada County Home Business "Shake It Well" came to a screeching halt on Sunday night when Bob and Danni Schlozmeyer's DSL went down for the 3rd time that day and the 19th time this week.

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    Nevada City, CA — Kevin Thomas has it all figured out. And he likes to explain his insights hourly to his entire family. He thinks his younger brother is pretty much the reason that everything sucks. “Why does he still watch lame Minecraft videos? Maybe because he’s retarded,” exclaimed Kevin. Kevin’s younger brother, Todd, responded, […]

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    Fresno Lottery winner Derrick Lopez says his plans on masturbating "all over the world" now.Recent multi-million dollar California Lottery winner Derrick Lopez of Fresno, CA told his friends on Facebook that he wants to fulfill his dreams of traveling the world following his huge windfall.

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    Nevada City, CA is in fact an old Star Trek set from the 1960s according to researchers.Historians from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist Universities have discovered that the quaint former gold rush town of Nevada City, California is actually a set from a lost Star Trek episode. The researchers made the discovery while digging through the Paramount television archives in Burbank, CA.

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    Convicted "Unabomber" Ted Kaczynski was spotted in an area Best Buy electronics store earlier this week shopping for a new laptop and mobile phone, according to several sources from the Auburn, CA location.

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    Area racist Terry Adkinson says he refuses to answer pollster questions truthfully.Area trinket collector, “oriental” food connoisseur and occasional racist Terry Adkinson says he's been contacted over the past few months by various polling operations such as Gallup and Rasmussen and refuses to answer their questions honestly.

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    Following a "misgendered" issue at a Rocklin school, an area McDonald's is under fire for giving the boy's version of their famous Happy Meal to a "transitioning" child.A Rocklin, California McDonald's has come under fire for inappropriately handing out the "Boys" version of their famous Happy Meal to a "transitioning" 5-year-old child.

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    Inspirational speaker, author and giant human Tony Robbins has declined a speaking engagement at the Veterans Hall in Grass Valley.Inspirational speaker, author and giant human Tony Robbins has declined a speaking engagement at the Veterans Hall in Grass Valley, CA claiming in a leaked email, "They're way to crazy for me," referring to the people of Nevada County.

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    An area sprinkler head has gone rogue and demanding more freedom and less oppression.An angry and rebellious irrigation sprinkler located on Grass Valley's Roundabout went rogue over the weekend and decided to water the pavement instead of its assigned flower bed, multiple sources are reporting.

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    A 20016/2017 comparison of the remarkable growth the Grass Valley cell phone tower has experienced following this past year's record rainfall.The controversial cell phone tower with was erected in Grass Valley's Brunswick Basin has grown by over 70 feet following a record-setting year for rainfall.

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    A massive new study has found that cell towers kill disease-laden mosquitoes.A massive two year study conducted by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation and sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control's (CDC) National Toxicology Program (NTP) has determined that modern cell phone towers can deter and some cases kill mosquito disease vectors.

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    Brenda "Dusty" Woods of Nevada City, CA says her utility smart meter gives her vivid dreams.Brenda "Dusty" Woods of Nevada City, CA says that ever since PG&E installed an energy Smartmeter on the outside of her Cottage Street home, she's been experience vivid dreams.

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    Several government officials warn the the NC Scooper is on the verge of weapons-grade satire.After a series of local and national events that seem unaffected by what experts call "vanilla-level satire," sources close to the Nevada County Scooper have indicated that the 92 year old publication is developing "weapons-grade satire."

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    Many of Robertson's loyal supporters have come to his defense, including Laura Swanson, she said, "those people have a one way ticket to hell with all of their fornicating and drug use."

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    Bill Nye the Science Guy seen here in the Nevada County Scooper Break Room. Ahead of his appearance at the Nevada City Film Festival, Bill Nye the Science Guy made a surprise appearance at the Nevada County Scooper offices this afternoon to thank the staff for courageous battle against fake news and science hoaxes.

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    Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley, CA seen in at an area hospital with his sexbot "Evelyn."An area man is recovering in Sierra Nevada Memorial hospital after his "sexbot" malfunctioned and cut off his penis. Dustin Jayce Dickens of Penn Valley, CA purchased the life-sized sex toy last last month after Amazon.com became the first retailer to offer the robotic sex dolls.

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    A Nevada City guinea pig seemed uninterested in a "short rib treat" left by its 12 year old owner.An area guinea pig 'Sugar Peaches' seemed unimpressed with a just-before-bed short rib snack left by its owner, 11-year-old Nevada City resident Stephanie Jameson.

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    It is that time of year when hundreds of migrant workers descend on Nevada County for the marijuana harvest, they are known to locals as "trimmigrants".  

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    Nevada City, CA hopes to use several "crowdsourcing" platforms to generate operating income for the fiscally strapped city. Nevada City says that it plans to repeal and replace traditional revenue sources like taxes and fines, and use crowdsourcing systems to pay for the operations of the town.

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    A group of archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist University have discovered what appears to be an ancient petroglyph.A group of archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist University have discovered what appears to be an ancient petroglyph at the bottom of Scotts Flat Lake just outside of Nevada City, California.

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    Artist's rendition of the proposed HAARP antenna array on Banner Mountain.Sources close to the government have leaked a memo stating that a "relay-like antenna device" might be installed in the important HAARP Banner Mountain location.

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    The Obama Administration has selected Stone Mountain Georgia to resettle thousands of Syrian refugees.Humanitarian workers will resettle the final wave of Syrian refugees in Stone Mountain as the remnants of the Obama Administration struggle to bring at least 10,000 Syrian refugees to the U.S. by the end of September.

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    Palo Alto, CA — Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation has confirmed that Nevada City’s local documentary producer, and sometimes politician, Saihra Ramun has produced heavily redacted Freedom of Information Act reports which reveal Tigua Mobil and Leonidas Cellular may have been using technology that can damage rat testicles and/or their brains. The full study, expected […]

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    After a 6-month investigation, the Federal Government working with the Nevada City Police Department's special "Carry and Conceal Elimination" task force, has authorized the deployment of its special "Gun Confiscation Unit" to the upstart and conservative Sierra Foothills community of Penn Valley, CA.

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    Ryan WolfordA Google self-driving car caused a traffic jam in Grass Valley over the weekend. A Google engineer decided to try out the new driver-less car in this area to, as he explains, “put it through the paces of my own hometown, where I learned to drive.”

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    Trent Turco in one of his many MGTOW singular protests.In retaliation to the "Me Too" posts on Facebook, Penn Valley local Trent Turco has created the #allgenitalsmatter movement.