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Harvest News: “Farmers” Demand School Closures Due to Rain
Due to a somewhat unseasonal rainstorm, some Nevada County "farmers" are demanding that local schools close to give area families extra labor for an emergency harvest.
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Local Newspaper: Don’t Shoot the Racist Messenger
The Union of Grass Valley has taken a page out of its 150 year legacy with a recent advertisement. Unfortunately for the local paper, that page appears to be from sometime in 1952.
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Man Uses Dirty Sock to Dry Off After Shower
Ken Rice used a soiled sock found on his Cedar Ridge, CA bathroom floor to dry himself early Tuesday morning, according to sources close to the Rice family.
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Mysterious Air Force Space Vehicle Actually a Taco Truck
The appearance of an apparent long-silvery space vehicle in the downtown Grass Valley, CA Safeway parking lot has been verified as an out-of-town Taco Truck and not a US Air Force surveillance device.
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Area Woman Who Says “This Butter Chicken is Authentic” Never Been to India
Angela White is believes that a local restaurant's butter chicken is as good as in India despite having never visited the largely vegetarian Asian country.
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Grass Valley’s Cornish Christmas To Go ‘Pink’ for Breast Cancer
Susan G. Komen Foundation has partnered with the Grass Valley Chamber of Commerce, the City Council and the Grass Valley Downtown Association to turn Cornish Christmas into a "pink" event to raise money.
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Department of Defense Experimenting with Fluoride Chemtrails
The DoD is expanding its current PZ-11X1 and PS-09B3 chemtrail distribution programs by adding aerosolized fluoride into its disbursement systems.
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Area Racist Ranks the American Value of Ethnic Foods
Area racist and Trump supporter Terry Adkinson of Grass Valley made a point Sunday night to rank Ethnic food based on its "value" to society.
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Visiting Reptilian Alien Enjoys Water Pipe Selection at Tribal Weaver
Zahhak Sobek, who is visiting the small California Gold Rush town from his home planet of Nocknon which orbits the star KIC 8462852, said he enjoys shopping Earth for trinkets and what-nots and...
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A Guest Opinion from the Union of Grass Valley: Walking the Razor’s Edge
It's hard running a newspaper these days. Liberals are so sensitive and hard to please, and conservatives want you to burn all the political correctness down to the ground.
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Donald Trump Suing Nevada City’s Trump Tacos
Trump Enterprises announced today that it plans on suing a small California taqueria for infringing on the Presidential Candidates trademarked name.
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Native Americans Call for Moratorium on Victorian Christmas
Nevada City, CA — Native Americans are on the warpath against Victorian Christmas in what they claim is yet another threat against their status as “the original locals”. This beloved annual event in...
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Spontaneous Flash Mob Breaks Out in Grocery Outlet
In a rare, but not unprecedented event, a flash mob spontaneously broke out late Wednesday afternoon inside of the Grass Valley, CA Grocery Outlet grocery store. Patrons both inside and out joined in...
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Grass Valley, CA to Open its 15th Dollar Store
Grass Valley, CA — In a bold move to satisfy local residents’ desire for impulsive crap purchases, Dollar Bargain Direct Enterprises announced it was opening what will be the 15th under-a-dollar...
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Seniors Debate Reporter’s Ethnicity For Third Night
For the third straight night, are seniors at debated the ethnicity of a KCRA TV News Reporter during the evening broadcast in their community center.
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Household a Hotbed of Machiavellian Maneuvers During Chore Time
Children across America are unwittingly, and in some cases deliberately, engaging Machiavellian maneuvers during chore time to offload their chores to other less savvy siblings.
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Nevada City Man Arrested at Trump Event Released on Bail
Willow Sunblaze of Nevada City, CA was arrested at GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump's New York City rally. He has since been released after posting his $40,000 bond in cash.
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Traveling Meat Salesman Harasses Grass Valley Neighborhood
Traveling meat salesman Paul Sieben got a negative earful on Wednesday when he unsuccessfully went door-to-door attempting to get the residents of Rhode Island Street to buy his meat products. Mr....
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Area Cartoonist in Hiding after Receiving Threats from the “Nun Mafia”
Esteemed Cartoonist and Scooper Patron Saint RL Crabb is reportedly in hiding after receiving threats from the notorious "Nun Mafia" over the weekend.
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YouTube Researcher Home Foundations Expert
Area transplant, Lake of the Pines resident and current commuting Chevron employee Wes Ford announced to his friends and family on Friday night that he plans to "build his own foundation" on a piece of...
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