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Passive-Aggressive Roofing Aims to Indirectly Intimidate Customers
After becoming frustrated with the overcrowded "Aggressive" roofing services market in Nevada County, newly formed Passive-Aggressive Roofing Company hopes to fill that void with a stubbornly hostile,...
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Area Office Worker Unsure Why Cheeto Goes Uneaten
Area technology worker and parental advice expert Brent Underwood doesn't understand why no one will eat the last Cheeto® in the break room. The lone puffy snack treat, which has sat in a paper tray...
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New Years Resolution Thwarted By Canal Gate
Nevada City, CA — Burt Bowles is fed up with fatphobia. Trying to live up to his New Year’s resolution to lose weight, Bowles, of Nevada City, decided to take a walk along the NID ditch on Banner...
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Utility Smart Meter Provides Area Woman with Vivid Dreams
Brenda "Dusty" Woods of Nevada City, CA says that ever since PG&E installed an energy Smartmeter on the outside of her Cottage Street home, she's been experience vivid dreams.
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Local Paper Concerned About Fate of George Soros Grants
The 92 year old Nevada County Scooper revealed today that it is concerned about the interruption of one of its primary revenue streams being interrupted after Donald Trump becomes the 45th President of...
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Man to Write James Joycean Account of Nevada City
Roy Riffle recently announced to a small crowd of Millennials at an area coffee shop that he intended to write the town's equivalent of James Joyce's Ulysses.
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Family’s Use of Refrigerator Poetry Magnets Reveals Deep Discontent
What started out as a playful refrigerator game with the intention of increasing the family's language acumen, has revealed deep angst and discontent inside a local Nevada City family.
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Area Woman Thoughtfully Fondles Eggs
The Scooper caught up with Ms. Williams at the egg stand on her weekly shopping trip for groceries. She was thoughtfully fondling the eggs.
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Area Activists Win WiFi Illness Disability Claim
Two North San Juan activists have won a landmark decision in the County Court allowing them to receive disability benefits for something called electromagnetic hypersensitivity or EHS. Merrilee...
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Middle Manager to Find Out Who’s Snoring on Conference Calls
Area middle manager Pajas Balasubramanian has been tasked with the thankless job of finding out who keeps snoring on company conference calls. Mr. Balasubramanian, a naturalized American citizen from...
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Local Man Wondering If You Noticed His Oversized Truck
Mr. Dickens, who is a high school drop out and a Trump supporter, has recently stirred up trouble around Nevada County for what many call his arrogant and overcompensating attitude regarding his truck....
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Area Man Poses As Illegal Immigrant To Get Free Stuff
Area trinket collector, “oriental” food connoisseur and occasional racist Terry Adkinson decided to make a point about illegal immigration last week by pretending to be an undocumented Mexican worker....
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Literate Area Author Inserts Facebook Typos Just to “Fit In”
A burgeoning Nevada City author admitted today to a small group of his friends that he often inserts typos and other usage errors into online Facebook comments just to "fit in." Area writer and...
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Nevada City To Test Aromatherapy On Hardened Criminals
The quaint gold rush town of Nevada City, CA will be the first in the nation to experiment with aromatherapy on hardened criminals.
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Study: Local Grocery Outlet Supermarket More Dangerous Than Muslim Refugees
A 3 month emergency study by the Palo Alto-base Rundex Family Foundation has concluded that you are more like to be injured shopping in the Grass Valley Grocery Outlet Supermarket, than from a refugee...
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Historians: Nevada City, CA Actually an Old “Star Trek” Episode Set
Historians from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist Universities have discovered that the quaint former gold rush town of Nevada City, California is actually a set from a lost Star Trek episode. The...
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Area Woman Excited About Receiving 6″-10″ This Week
Cedar Ridge resident and professional shopper Janet Williams updated her Facebook status today telling her friends that she's actually looking forward to receiving 6 to 10 inches this week.
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ISIS Training Camp Busted Up At Nevada County State Park
Local authorities and Federal law enforcement have broken up an elaborate ISIS terrorist operation in the Sierra Foothills state park Malakoff Diggins.
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Alt-Right Mascot, Pepe the Frog, Accidentally Eaten at Ike’s Quarter Café
Pepe the Frog, beloved mascot of the alt-right movement, was inadvertently sautéed and consumed at Ike’s Quarter Café in Nevada City yesterday afternoon. Pepe, whose avatar is used by many commenters...
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DAPL Protesters Return to Find Oil Drilling on Local Lake
Nevada County activists who recently returned from Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL) protests in South Dakota where shocked to find out that in their absence, multi-national conglomerate Energy Transfer...
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