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Busted: Local Newspaper Written by Single Reporter
Grass Valley, CA — The Scooper has learned that the 150 year old-ish Grass Valley-based Newspaper The Union is written, edited, administered and published by a single reporter news savant Ivan...
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Department of Defense Stepping Up Local Haldol Chemtrail Efforts
he Scooper has just learned that the Department of Defense (DoD), in coordination with several Internet service providers (ISPs), is stepping up their Chemtrail efforts to alleviate the acrimony on...
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Locals and Flatlanders Face Off in a Competition for Shittiest Drivers
In another terse “locals” against “transplants” debate, the Nevada County Facebook community pages have been heating up over which faction is doing all of the shitty driving in the area, and now the...
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Area Chemtrail Protest Fails to Notice Giant Cloud Penis
During a chemtrail protest that took place on the Brunswick Road overpass in Grass Valley's Glenbrook Basin, a group of anti-geoengineering activists failed to notice a gigantic cloud penis in the...
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Saudis to Purchase Del Oro Theater/Redesign Tower into Islamic Minaret
A group of influential and secretive Saudi investors announced this week that they plan on purchasing the Del Oro Theater located in Grass Valley, CA. As a part of the sale, the current iconic Del Oro...
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Grass Valley Expands Roundabout with Merry-Go-Round
Grass Valley's new Soviet-style leadership did what any politburo government would do: distract its citizens with spectacle and entertainment. And to that end, government officials have installed a...
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‘Sheeple’ No Longer Acceptable as Insult
You don't hear much about animal husbandry in Nevada County news these days. Sure, we have the 4H and NCAPSPCHAFFA, but the men and women running these farms – you just don't hear their voices very...
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Children May Be Solution to Gun Violence
If you think your toddler is too immature to properly handle a loaded firearm safely, think again.
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Most Americans Still Unclear Where Benghazi Is
Despite Republican successes in national and local elections in the past four years, and a persistent media campaign in largely Right Wing news outlets, most Americans are still unclear where the hell...
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Jamba Juice Diet Leads to Type 2 Diabetes
Area man Jason Dubrey is now recovering from a month-long diet of Jamba Juice. Dubrey, 34, has been watching several online videos about weight loss and juice diets and decided last month to try a "30...
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Seven arrests made in ‘huge’ grape-crushing operation
Nevada County, CA — Prohibition officers looking to serve an arrest warrant Wednesday ended up arresting seven people and seizing more than 1,100 tons of varietal grapes in what appeared to be a large...
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Man Driving Used Police Car: Why Do People Treat Me Weird?
People have been driving strangely around Hank Snow after the Grass Valley handyman purchased a surplus Crowne Victoria Police car.
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Officials Urge Calm During Upcoming Military/Martial Law Exercise
Nevada County Police will be collaborating with the FBI, the ATF and other Department of Homeland Security agencies to conduct 'martial law-type scenarios' in Nevada County at an unspecified time later...
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Area Woman Injured By Kmart Receipt Pile
Layaway has a new meaning for long time Grass Valley resident Millie Franks after she was nearly smothered under 27 lbs. of Kmart receipts on Saturday.
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Father Teaches Son “Life Lesson” with Large, Unwieldy Plastic Bin
Area father Craig Thomas of Grass Valley decided to teach his 15 year old teenage son a "life lesson" by making him carry a large, unwieldy plastic bin filled with school supplies though a local...
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Area Woman Wins Online Arguments by Calling Opponents “Trolls”
A local unemployed and frequent Facebook participant Jennifer Murray of Nevada City, CA has taken to labeling anyone who irritates her on the popular social network "a troll." Apparently Ms. Murray...
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Local Christian Scientist Not Really A Scientist/Christian
Local anti-vaccine activist, mother of two children and unknowing proponent of Natural Selection Lisa Fellows is not a Christian Scientist as she has recently claimed on her children's vaccine schedule...
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Nevada City To Test Aromatherapy On Hardened Criminals
The quaint gold rush town of Nevada City, CA will be the first in the nation to experiment with aromatherapy on hardened criminals.
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Area Cartoonist in Hiding after Receiving Threats from the “Nun Mafia”
Esteemed Cartoonist and Scooper Patron Saint RL Crabb is reportedly in hiding after receiving threats from the notorious "Nun Mafia" over the weekend.
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Area Office Worker Unsure Why Cheeto Goes Uneaten
Area technology worker and parental advice expert Brent Underwood doesn't understand why no one will eat the last Cheeto® in the break room. The lone puffy snack treat, which has sat in a paper tray...
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