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Local Entrepreneur Thwarted by DSL

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Woman consoling her husband after reading bad newsNevada County Home Business "Shake It Well" came to a screeching halt on Sunday night when Bob and Danni Schlozmeyer's DSL went down for the 3rd time that day and the 19th time this week.

Special Report: Last Average Adult Discovered in Nevada County

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Chip Day of Grass Valley. An ordinary man.Researchers from UC Davis were startled to discover what they are tentatively billing as the “last average adult in Nevada County.”

Satirical Publication Encourages People to “Fuck Off” If They Can’t Take a Joke

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Happy smiling patient showing thumbs up together with his doctor.The 93 year old Nevada County Scooper encouraged people to "fuck off" if they can't take a joke. Yesterday's pronouncement by the esteemed news outlet, followed a bitter and protracted primary election season that left most American unable to laugh.

Study: Cell Towers Kill Zika And West Nile Virus Mosquitoes

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A massive new study has found that cell towers kill disease-laden mosquitoes.A massive two year study conducted by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation and sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control's (CDC) National Toxicology Program (NTP) has determined that modern cell phone towers can deter and some cases kill mosquito disease vectors.

Nevada City Reveals Plan to Control All Intersections by 2020

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Nevada City plans to install stop signs at every intersection.The Nevada City Council used its most recent meeting to announce an initiative intended to erect stop signs at every intersection in the three-digit address zone of the historic city by no later than December of 2020.

Bottled Water Store Opening Soon In Grass Valley

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BottledWaterStoreEarlier this week, two local businessmen announced plans to open what they believe is the county's first bottled water only store.

Fight at Del Oro Theatre Was A Debate Over Chewbacca’s Gender

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Chewbacca shoe-shopping with friends. Could this be a clue?The altercation took place about 45 minutes into The Force Awakens when two local and long-time friends started arguing about the gender of furry supporting character Chewbacca. Lee Corneys of Grass Valley and Jerry Dodge were both taken into custody following the brawl and later released on bail.

Dollar Fur Store To Open In Nevada City, CA

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Proposed Dollar Fur Store provided by the Roseville, CA-based Developer.A group of developers announced a plan to open a discount "dollar" animal pelt store in the vacant Alpha Building at the foot of Broad Street in Nevada City, CA.

Political Snake Infestation Haunts Nevada City

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Fears of political snakes are rising in Nevada city by those who have an irrational fear of modernity.According to some Nevada City insiders, the quaint former gold rush town nestled in the Sierra Nevada Foothills has be overrun by what are being called "political snakes."

Thomas Pynchon spotted in Lake of the Pines

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lake of the pines pynchon featuredLake of the Pines, CA — Recluse author Thomas Pynchon was spotted lounging on the shores of Lake of the Pines California presumably at his lake-side home. He was reading a book with headphones on. It is unclear at this time why he chose to settle in the exclusive, gated community, but when approached for […]

Confirmed: 2.5 Mile Comet to Impact Local Man’s Brain

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Skyy Wolford CometPlaying off recent reports that a super-comet is scheduled to impact Earth in the same time frame, Mr. Wolford wanted to stress to the largely disinterested and sometimes nervous crowd that this calamitous even was really about him.

Area Woman Uses Kombucha To Treat Schizophrenia

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Area Woman Uses Kombucha To Treat SchizophreniaFresh off her self-proclaimed successes in treating autism with coconut oil, Merrilee Longshoes of North San Juan, CA has announced a new treatment option for Schizophrenia: Kombucha. Kombucha is any of a variety of preparations of fermented, lightly effervescent sweetened black or green tea drinks that are commonly used as functional beverages for their unsubstantiated health benefits.

Jenny McCarthy To Speak Locally About Child Vaccinations

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Jenny McCarthy: "One Poke Per Visit"Playboy Magazine's 2003 Playmate of the Year and controversial author Jenny McCarthy will be coming to Nevada County to speak about the threat of autism from childhood immunizations.

Woman Wearing Headphones Impatiently Waiting for Men to Hit on Her

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Sasha Reed of Nevada City noticed that men try to speak with her while she's wearing headphones.Sasha Reed of Nevada City, CA has repeatedly experienced a shocking amount of neglect while doing everything from working out to driving around. Accordingly, she said, her self esteem has begun to suffer.

Nevada City to Host 2017 World Clay Cups Games Alternative to World Cup

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Nevada City to host the 2017 Clay Cup GamesThe "World Clay Cups" games will draw massive crowds to Pioneer Park, and kiln rivalries will heat up with surprisingly intense emotions this week.

Grass Valley High Efficiency Flow Toilet Goes Uncleaned

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Local Family argues over cleaning the TolietThe Day Family had a minor crisis Saturday when no one in the family had the gumption nor the courage to clean the household's two new high-efficiency toilets

Nevada City Schools to Observe Muslim Holidays

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Nevada City with Muslim HolidaysFollowing the lead of the New York City school system, the nation's largest, the upstart Sierra Nevada foothills community of Nevada City announced that its schools will observe the two most important Muslim holidays next school year.

Brief: Grass Valley Police to Hire Former Ferguson, Missouri Officer

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New Grass Valley Police OfficerThe Grass Valley Police Department release a memorandum late this week notifying the public that it has hired a former Ferguson, Missouri police officer. In the memo, the department wanted to make it clear that the new hire was in no way politically motivated, nor was there anything more "than a routine hire."

Local Pharmacy Keeps Customers In Line with Betta Fish

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Kevin Nilbert at CVSLocal CVS Pharmacy has a trick up its sleeve to let their customers know who's the boss: a solitary betta fish displayed prominently on the counter.

Stephen King Spotted at Local Grocery Outlet

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Grocery Outlet Stephen KingAmerican author of contemporary horror, supernatural fiction, suspense, science fiction, and fantasy Stephen King was spotted this weekend shopping at the popular discount supermarket Grocery Outlet.
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