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Department of Defense Stepping Up Local Haldol Chemtrail Efforts

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Haldol is the common name for the anti-psychotic medication Haloperidol and a common chemtrail additive.he Scooper has just learned that the Department of Defense (DoD), in coordination with several Internet service providers (ISPs), is stepping up their Chemtrail efforts to alleviate the acrimony on several local blogs and on Facebook leading up to the election next year. Also recent gun violence has turned what were normal people into complete assholes.

Area Man Shamelessly Using Inappropriate Google Adwords in Web Articles

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Local Success and Productivity Guru Mitch FreedA local man has been adding high value Google Adwords into his articles in order to boost his SEO rating in attempts to boost his website advertising revenue.

Blackwater To Provide Security For Local Electronics Company

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Blackwater Grass ValleyAn area high-tech business has hired the security firm Blackwater to protect its assets and inventory that can no longer fit within the secure perimeters of the company's property.

Area Man Not Sure Where Brussels Is

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Terry Adkinson isn't sure where Brussels is, but he knows Donald Trump will fix whatever is wrong with it.As the world is trying to understand the recent terror attacks in Europe, an area man admitted to his waiter in the Asian Gardens Chinese Restaurant that he has no idea where Brussels is. Terry Adkinson, 62, holds strident opinions on world affairs and is a proud Donald Trump supporter.

Area Man Proclaims Autonomous State Inside Carl’s Jr.

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Nevada City resident Charles Jones announced his intention on Thursday to create Permanent Autonomous Zone called "La Burgia" in the back corner of the Grass Valley, CA Carl's Jr. restaurant.Nevada City resident Charles Jones announced his intention to create Permanent Autonomous Zone called "La Burgia" in the back corner of the Grass Valley, CA Carl's Jr. restaurant.

Area Chemtrail Believer Bullied by Math “Thugs“

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Area Chemtrail Believer Bullied by Math “Thugs“Mary McAlister seemed surprised that others took issue with her incendiary share of a billboard picture that warned people of the dangers of geoengineering.

Pit Bull Bites Disabled Tennis Player’s Hand Off

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Daisy loves balls.Professional disabled tennis player Arthur Flausterman was attacked by a ball-happy pit bull that snatched a ball – and Flausterman’s left hand – off his arm.

Elementary School To Create Gender-Neutral Restrooms

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Sierra College in Grass Valley now has gender-neutral restrooms.The controversial debate has now hit home right here in Nevada County. Sierra Charter Elementary School has agreed to pilot the country's first "transgender restroom program."

High School Students Vote to Legalize Weed

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Two SnapChat pictures from what is being dubbed as the epic Swann "smoke-out"A students coalition from the Nevada Union School District have passed straw vote to legalize weed in all schools, school functions and at the local Taco Bell.

Hackers Install Porn onto Automated Grocery Checkout

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Area grocery shoppers were shocked to find inappropriate videos on a local Safeway automated checkout.A local hacker group calling themselves the 420 Knights successfully installed adult videos onto area Safeway self-checkout machines. The group, which tool responsibility for the act yesterday via a Twitter feed, said that they were doing this this to "disrupt the robots" and to "give power back to the people." The tweet also contained a #FeelTheBern hashtag.

Colo-rectal Cancer Forces Cruz Out Of GOP Race

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Senator Ted Cruz apparently has advanced Colo-rectal and lip cancer.In a press conference on the front steps of Houston Methodist Hospital, a visibly shaken Jeff Roe announced that presidential hopeful, Ted Cruz has been required, on doctors orders, to drop out of the GOP race to the nomination.

Traffic on Highway 49 Blocked by Bounce House

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Traffic on Highway 49 Blocked by Bounce HouseLocal child entertainment specialist and owner of Big Giggles Bounce Houses Jerry Dodge, parked his Ford Econoline 350 van just south of Lime Kiln Road and inflated one of his Bounce Houses in the right hand lane of Highway 49.

Lincoln Loved Kittens and Bacon, Asserts Local Pandering Internet Blogger

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Lincoln Loved Kittens and Bacon, Asserts Local Pandering Internet BloggerFacing dwindling numbers due to recent inappropriate comments, a local blogger "upped the ante" on Thursday afternoon by claiming that President Lincoln was fond of both kittens and bacon.

Area Wicca Practitioners Replace Vaccines with Witchcraft

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Maeve Zephyr Crow and her partner Floura Klia Purae Omallia demonstrating an anti-vaccine ritual at the Columbia SchoolhouseIn what some are hailing as a breakthrough in the movement, local anti-vaccine activists and Wicca practitioners have teamed up to prevent childhood vaccinations and treat Autism with Witchcraft.

Obama Proposes “Leper-like” Colonies For Anti-Vaxxers

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Manzanar War Relocation Center was one of ten camps where Japanese American citizens and resident Japanese aliens were interned during World War II.In a last minute press conference called to address the recent contagious disease outbreaks, President Obama has proposed a solution to deal with the Anti-Vaccination or Anti-Vax movement.

Nevada City Charter School Stunned by Syphilis Outbreak

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Administrators revealed that nearly half population has contracted the somewhat archaic disease.Bewildered Yuba River Charter School (YRCS) administrators revealed on Thursday that nearly half of their middle school population has contracted the somewhat archaic sexually-transmitted disease of syphilis in the last month.

Study: Coast 2 Coast AM Listeners Fall Asleep In The First Hour

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A 2-year study by the Rundex Family Foundation found that truck drivers should take caution when listening to Coast to Coast AM.The popular late-night paranormal/conspiracy radio show Coast To Coast A.M (C2CAM) has been the subject of an FCC-sponsored study by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation.

Area Woman Has Longest Hyphenated Name in USA

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Katherine Lucy-Elizabeth Tatum-StonehousefelderArea lawyer Katherine Lucy-Elizabeth Tatum-Stonehousefelder says she has the longest hyphenated name in the United States. Ms. Tatum-Stonehousefelder, 31 of Nevada City, is a family law attorney who specializes in mediation, estate planning and marijuana law.

Nevada City Man Arrested at Trump Event Released on Bail

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Donald TrumpWillow Sunblaze of Nevada City, CA was arrested at GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump's New York City rally. He has since been released after posting his $40,000 bond in cash.

Sierra Nevada Mushroom Identification Forum Under Scrutiny from FDA

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FDA considers monitoring local Sierra Nevada Mushroom Identification Forum after some had "over-tripped."The popular Sierra Nevada Mushroom Identification Forum on Facebook is under the Federal Government's microscope after several Nevada County participants became "disoriented and started tripping" after ingesting some psychotropic varieties.
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