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    Help-Harvest-MoonashDue to a somewhat unseasonal rainstorm, some Nevada County "farmers" are demanding that local schools close to give area families extra labor for an emergency harvest.

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    After publishing an inaccurate and racist paid advertisement, the Union wonders what could possibly go wrong?The Union of Grass Valley has taken a page out of its 150 year legacy with a recent advertisement. Unfortunately for the local paper, that page appears to be from sometime in 1952.

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    Kim Rice doesn't understand why her husband won't use a towel.Ken Rice used a soiled sock found on his Cedar Ridge, CA bathroom floor to dry himself early Tuesday morning, according to sources close to the Rice family.

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    taco-truckThe appearance of an apparent long-silvery space vehicle in the downtown Grass Valley, CA Safeway parking lot has been verified as an out-of-town Taco Truck and not a US Air Force surveillance device.

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    Angela White likes eating "ethnic food" and really is happy that Grass Valley has a decent Indian restaurant.Angela White is believes that a local restaurant's butter chicken is as good as in India despite having never visited the largely vegetarian Asian country.

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    The Foundation hopes to have the same success at Cornish Christmas as it did with it's popular Fracking Drill Bit campaign.Susan G. Komen Foundation has partnered with the Grass Valley Chamber of Commerce, the City Council and the Grass Valley Downtown Association to turn Cornish Christmas into a "pink" event to raise money.

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    DoD to add fluoride to current chemtrail efforts in Nevada County.The DoD is expanding its current PZ-11X1 and PS-09B3 chemtrail distribution programs by adding aerosolized fluoride into its disbursement systems.

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    At a recent family night out, Grass Valley's Terry Adkinson took it upon himself to rank the value of different ethnic foods.Area racist and Trump supporter Terry Adkinson of Grass Valley made a point Sunday night to rank Ethnic food based on its "value" to society.

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    Zahhak Sobek Tribal WeaverZahhak Sobek, who is visiting the small California Gold Rush town from his home planet of Nocknon which orbits the star KIC 8462852, said he enjoys shopping Earth for trinkets and what-nots and recently discovered the delights of water pipe smoking.

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    Man sitting in living room by fireplace with newspaper smilingIt's hard running a newspaper these days. Liberals are so sensitive and hard to please, and conservatives want you to burn all the political correctness down to the ground.

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    Nevada City, CA's Trump Tacos is being sued by Donald Trump for trademark infringement.Trump Enterprises announced today that it plans on suing a small California taqueria for infringing on the Presidential Candidates trademarked name.

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    Victorian carolers will have to adjust their songs to more Native American ThemesNevada City, CA — Native Americans are on the warpath against Victorian Christmas in what they claim is yet another threat against their status as “the original locals”. This beloved annual event in Nevada City attracts thousands of residents and visitors who enjoy shopping for locally made gifts. What it means to be “local” is […]

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    Grocery OutletIn a rare, but not unprecedented event, a flash mob spontaneously broke out late Wednesday afternoon inside of the Grass Valley, CA Grocery Outlet grocery store. Patrons both inside and out joined in the free-for-all melee and danced with mad abandon.

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    Dollar StoreGrass Valley, CA —  In a bold move to satisfy local residents’ desire for impulsive crap purchases, Dollar Bargain Direct Enterprises announced it was opening what will be the 15th under-a-dollar bargain store in Grass Valley, a city of just over 12,000 people. “We believe that Grass Valley is an under-served market for the bargain shopper,” commented Dollar Bargain Direct […]

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    Reynaldo M. Rodriguez and Stephen DonallyFor the third straight night, are seniors at debated the ethnicity of a KCRA TV News Reporter during the evening broadcast in their community center.

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    Area Household a Hotbed of Machiavellian Maneuvers During Chore TimeChildren across America are unwittingly, and in some cases deliberately, engaging Machiavellian maneuvers during chore time to offload their chores to other less savvy siblings.

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    Donald TrumpWillow Sunblaze of Nevada City, CA was arrested at GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump's New York City rally. He has since been released after posting his $40,000 bond in cash.

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    Traveling meat salesman Paul Sieben got his ass handed to him in Grass Valley, CA.Traveling meat salesman Paul Sieben got a negative earful on Wednesday when he unsuccessfully went door-to-door attempting to get the residents of Rhode Island Street to buy his meat products. Mr. Sieben, who works for the Consolidated Meat Distributors, LLC has been selling meat out of the back of his Ford Taurus for over 12 years and recently decided to try the Nevada County territory.

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    The Nun Mafia was founded by Pope Paul III in 1541 to help expedite the excommunication of Henry the VIII of EnglandEsteemed Cartoonist and Scooper Patron Saint RL Crabb is reportedly in hiding after receiving threats from the notorious "Nun Mafia" over the weekend.

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    new+crumbling+foundation_1200Area transplant, Lake of the Pines resident and current commuting Chevron employee Wes Ford announced to his friends and family on Friday night that he plans to "build his own foundation" on a piece of property he inherited from his uncle south of Highway 20.

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