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Let Me Tell You About Your Kids, Says Childless Man

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Local technology worker Brent Underwood says he's "got the whole kid thing figured out" despite not having any children of his own. Mr. Underwood says he's got a unique understanding of child development and parenting wisdom from closely observing families for the past 5 years.

Area Boy OK After Shark Attack

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Adam Mills, 16, sustained non-life threatening injuries after he was attacked by, in his words, "a really big f'ing shark" while paddle boarding on the iconic Sierra Nevada foothills lake.

Naughty Brawl Spoils Christmas Toy Bike Run

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The 24th annual Nevada County Food & Toy Run was a little more memorable than expected this year for some unlucky participants. Dozens of motorcycle riders never left the Eric Rood Administrative Center staging area in Nevada City due to a vicious brawl between rival bike club members.

Local Police Fighting Back Against the War on Christmas with Antlers

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The Grass Valley Police Department is waging battling the war on Christmas by decking their patrol cars with antlers.The Grass Valley, CA police department has opened a new battle line in the war on Christmas this year. Attempting to both soften the image of police and send a message to liberal elites around the country, the small former gold rush town's law enforcement announced today that they will install mule deer antlers and Christmas wreaths on all patrol vehicles.

NC Scooper Admits Error/Promises a “Non-Fake” Future

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he Nevada County Scooper was recently called a “Fake News Site” on Wikipedia, a description recently attached to the Scooper by Snopes, the leading debunking source for people trying to determine if information is true.

Kanye West Convinces Trump to Convert Abandoned Nuclear Sites into Artist Living Spaces

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Kanye West presenting his proposal to house poor artists in abandoned nuclear power plants at Trump Tower on TuesdayIn a surprise announcement following a meeting between the Donald Trump and Kanye West this week, the President-elect said that he plans on directing Housing and Urban Development (HUD) to convert abandoned nuclear facilities into artist living spaces.

Area Asshole Insists on Ordering Starbucks Drink at Local Coffee House

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Resident Don Vaca got into a spat Wednesday with Carolines Coffee Barista, he insisted on ordering a Venti Caramel Macchiato only sold at Starbucks.

Area Cat Ingests Meth Stash/Kills Owners

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A North Church Street cat accidentally ingested an entire stash of methamphetamine late this week and went on a murderous rampage. After eating what authorities claim was a small amount of "Biznack," Abu, the name of the male black cat, not only destroyed the inside of the small studio home, but also killed both occupants.

Area Pet Rescue Shelters Nearly 100 Reindeer

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Santa seen here at Sammie's Friends with Rudolf.Last week a portly man wearing a red and white stocking cap pulled into the McCourtney Road animal shelter and said breathlessly, “Please help! We have a large number of reindeer in an 18-foot travel trailer parked at the Nevada County Fairgrounds.“

Area Residents Warned Not To Approach Reindeer

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Jade Elscrow of Walnut Creek, CA knows first hand that Nevada County deer don't like him.The Nevada County Department of Wildlife has issued its annual statement warning area residents not to approach any reindeer during the next 24 hours.

Area Sportsmen Accidentally Shoot Blitzen

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Area Sportsmen have accidentally shot one of Santa's more popular reindeer, "Blitzen."A Spenceville hunter is in hot water today after shooting Blitzen, one of Santa Claus's more popular reindeer. Area blogger Todd Juvinall was cited and briefly detained by Nevada County Wildlife official Seth DeMartini for the unlawful shooting of the iconic deer.

County: Smoking is Animal Abuse

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County Bans Tobacco Products Due to Animal AbuseIn what is being hailed as a victory by Public Health and Animal Rights officials, voters in rural Nevada County California have voted to ban all tobacco products for sale and consumption.

Area Anarcho-Capitalist Thinks Local Anarcho-Communist is Full of Crap

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Anarcho-Capitalist David 'X' and Anarcho-Communist Pete had it out on Facebook over the weekend.A rather heated argument broke out over the weekend between an area Anarcho-Capitalist and an Anarcho-Communist about which form of Anarchism is superior to the other.

Study: Gay Facebook Memes Causing Record Number of Men to “Switch Hit”

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Penn Valley man Roger Bast says he's now gay after viewing several Russian-created homosexual memes on Facebook.An unusually high number of highly suggestive gay memes have invaded Facebook, causing an abnormally large percentage of heterosexual men to "switch hit," a recent study is reporting.

Area Senior Repeatedly Fails CAPTCHA Tests

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Area Senior Reynaldo M. Rodriguez was unable to get his free 6 month subscription to Field and Stream Magazine after repeatedly failing the online CAPTCHA test.Area Senior Reynaldo M. Rodriguez was unable to get his free 6 month subscription to Field and Stream Magazine after repeatedly failing the online CAPTCHA test.

The Phrase “you can’t make this stuff up” Copyrighted by The Nevada County Scooper

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The Nevada County Scooper will charge a nominal fee each time the phrase is used.The 92 year old Nevada County Scooper has announced today that it has copyrighted the popular Internet phrase "you can't make this stuff up." According to Scooper officials, there will be a small surcharge for anyone or any institution using the phrase starting January 1st, 2017

Nevada County Sheriff Announces Plan to Investigate the Nevada County Sheriff

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Nevada County Sheriff Keith Royal is going to investigate himself.Nevada County Sheriff Keith Royal started off the New Year with a press conference announcing that he is launching an internal investigation to “ensure that he has operated his department with the full transparency and accountability that the citizens of Nevada County expect and deserve.”

Graham Chapman’s Ashes To Come to Center For The Arts

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The ashes of Graham Chapman, the very dead English comedian, writer, actor, and one of the six members of the surreal comedy group Monty Python, are coming to Grass Valley's Center for the Arts the Scooper has learned.

Zuckerberg to Put Select Facebook Groups on a “Time Out”

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Facebook CEO Mark ZuckerbergFacebook announced on Wednesday that it will put several Nevada County Facebook Groups on a "time out" until they can get their histrionic behavior under control.

Area Mother Regrets Naming Her Child GMO

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Jessica Orson is worried about her daughter GMOsNevada City mother of two Jessica Orson recently admitted to the Scooper that she regretted naming her 16 year old daughter Gabriele Michelle Orson, or GMO for short.
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